Hurt and Confussed

[T-boned]

Ok, so she filed. That's all it is. You are not divorced. It's just part of the process. Ya, it's painful and it's hurtful. But again, can't control her actions, so how are you going to handle it is the big question. How many months does it take to finalize a divorce in your state (I'm assuming you are in the US). Where I live, it's 6 months. So depending on the time frame you may have a fair chunk of time to do what is in your power to maybe turn this train around.

Again, just because she has done this doesn't mean it's 'game-over.' Continue with your DBing (sounds like you are are on track with that), and continue being strong for your daughters. They need you to be present now more than ever because they know what's going on and are probably feeling insecure and afraid (been there). (BTW, Happy Father's Day - I know it's not one of the better ones but revel in time spent with your girls - THEY adore you.) And continue working on becoming the best man you can be - one she would be foolish to walk away from. It's may be hard for your W to see it or accept it because she is busy focusing on herself.

For the hurt and anger, well being a woman, for me the release is to cry and/or scream when I am alone at home or in my car where no one can see or hear me. And I run. Maybe for you a punching bag???? Or any physical activity like running, weight lifting, well, you surf so that's good, but something that makes you grunt and be vocal is helpful. Hey, just cry if you feel like it because you can't keep this stuff pent up. It will only escalate into some action you may be very sorry for later. And think about a visit to a therapist.

Spend as much time with your girls because they make you happy.

If you can, feel some empathy for your W - she is in great pain as well or else she wouldn't be doing this. She sounds to me to be in full blown MLC. As one of the posters said, it's very common around that age..all the behaviors (weight loss, anti-aging cream, etc....) screams of it. Read up on MLC on the internet if you haven't already, however, if you are like most of us here that's one of the first things we do.

Also, check out Matt165's posts. Some of his postings are long, but the advice he is getting could apply to you.