I wish i were as self aware as you have been through those last several posts. Wow, great job! I love how you saw the positive effect of allowing time to respond, noticing triggers, and being aware of the right frame of mind (no alcohol) to respond. The decisions you made as a result were good ones.
Not making the fathers day card about your troubles, good. Being gracious about the scout event, good and he noticed.
Let me say, as mom to older boys, 6 year olds lie to get out of trouble. It is a learning experience. Don't freak out, just explain the consequences for whatever he's in trouble for just got bigger because he added lying to the wrong things he did. The more you panic or go overboard with punishments, the more incentive he has to figure out how to lie better. Treat it as a normal thing to train him out of, with love. Above all stop your thinking any time you find yourself imagining parallels or irony or any connection at all with H's lies.
No matter what h is doing to his marriage, he sounds like a good dad capable of teaching his kid that lying is not allowed. The swirl of emotions you have about that exist only in your mind and you can turn them off, they will not help you. Feel them, vent them, release them when you can. Sounds like you can do that!
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
