For Making Magic....

[ericmsant2]

MM

I just don't know what "kicking his arse to the curb" looks like... I have never broken up with someone.

And what you are missing is the fuc*ing awesome experience of “writing your own story on YOUR f*cking terms!”. There is no right or wrong way to break up with someone. The right or wrong way is the WAY YOU DECIDE IT TO BE FOR YOU.

The fact that you have never broken up with someone tells me that you have had this self worth/self esteem issue for a loooonnnnggg time. The fact that you would never allow your DD to be in this sitch – tells me that you are VERY AWARE OF YOUR FEAR.

It really is the FEAR that is holding you back! No one here can do this for YOU MM. NO ONE. You are 46 yo, you have had habits that were formed over many many years – What I can tell you is that these habits can be broken! They can be tossed aside. All it really takes is training and work.

Lemme show you a few more things that I see…..

So, if I were to say, sorry...made other plans... it may now come across as a game play & just piss him off.

YOUR responses to XBF are…..in or in anticipation of a response from him, or how it is gonna make HIM feel, or how HE will perceive YOU. ……Look at what you wrote…. “it may now come across as a game play & just piss him off”…

PISS HIM OFF – WTF. Who gives a chit what he feels? YOU DO…so your responses are FOR HIM – NOT for YOU.

I don't care about pissing him off, I worry about "games". I thought that some honesty could be given this time instead. Something like "this is too confusing or not feeling right or NO, I give up"... might make more sense & be truthful..... thoughts??

You do care about pissing him off – if you didn’t you would not spend so much energy worrying about what or how or when to say something to him.

Truthful…really…

Why do you feel the need, rather OBLIGATION to be truthful to him? Why do you feel the need or OBLIGATION to say anything to him? IMO, cause you still want him…you still want to see if you can save this…

The fact that I ask this question, is strictly to be prepared. He may not even ask... and WHEW, if he doesn't.

Look at this ^^^^ “WHEW …if he doesn’t! Really MM, really….are you that scared of him?

Then look at your very next sentence….

Whew, that he didn't "try" anything yesterday too. Cuz, I'm not sure how I would have handled it.

“Whew” again… and what I find really amazing…is your comment “I’m not sure how I would have handled it”. Personally, I am starting to think that he has been your one and only lover. Maybe the one person that has managed to “get you off”. Maybe this is more about you NEEDING sex to validate how you feel about yourself.


Now before you ask…why I would say you need sex for validation…take a look at YOUR words…..

After Wednesdays hot & steamy passionate make out.

Steamy and passionate make out session.

Here is man that gives you crumbs (if you can even call it that)

Here is man who disrespect you

Here is man who has told you (in an indirect way)…that he would like to play the field

Here is man who has kept you stuck right where you have been for the past few years

Here is man who is concerned about HIS NEED and HIS WANTS – not YOURS

And you talk about steamy and passionate. I’m not kidding…I really want to meet this guy. I do. He must be hung like a horse and has a nick name of Don Juan…cause man he must be amazing.

“not sure how to handle it”

How about…”hey get your fu*king hands off me, I’m not a piece of meat you pig”

Eric ~ yes! I was trying to mind read because I want to remain consistent.

How about you consistently work on getting your share of the business…and if you cannot…I kid you not…walk away from it. Yep…say F it… go find a job, your self respect and dignity back. Cause from where I sit…he is gonna keep playin you like a two dollar hoe!

I want to send the message that I liked how passionate we are (still) but Im not interested in just casual sex.

OMG! F*ck passion…how about getting a little consideration from him. How about getting YOUR needs met?

Yes, I want him to "get it"... I thought this was my goal???

Honestly….IMO, your GOALS should be to….


FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ALLOW PEOPLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU

UNDERSTAND WHY THIS MAN HAS SO MUCH POWER OVER YOU

UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ALLOWED THIS FOR AS LONG AS YOU HAVE

UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO TRULY VALUE YOURSELF

UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO TRULY LIVE

UNDERSTAND WHAT SELF RESPECT MEANS


Then….maybe then……should he or any other man be the goal.

FIX YOU FIRST MM……FIX YOU FIRST….

I’ll close with this…….


I suspect that no matter what anyone post to you…that you need some form of sex of physical contact in order to “FEEL” validated ….I think nothing I or anyone else says for that matter will change that….

Then I want you to consider this……

You were “putting out” and he apparently still wants “that”…so honestly…ya must not be bad in the sack, I say this with no disrespect to you. So unless you have 6 nipples, are missing a leg and have 15 fingers – you are gonna meet someone – so being alone should not be a concern nor should your ability to have physical intimacy with someone. When you are ready, and when you finally cut the cord from this guy…..you will find that you just may meet a nice man, who can still validate you and RESPECT YOU.

FTR, I still believe that you need to address the sex/physical validation thing – I just don’t think you can.