When you have the discussion with him about in home separation, let him talk. You have your answer already in your head and you haven't heard him yet. This is where most of us controllers go wrong, we plan the discussion to keep it safe for us, have every possible direction the convo might take mapped and then we don't listen.

While the other person is talking we're thinking about our reply.

Listen, really listen and then if you need time to digest what he's said, say that. "I need to think about this for awhile." Take time whether you think you need it or not.

A great reminder for me-Listen to understand, not to reply.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss