I do give up... I give up chasing this guy... I can't get anyway!
But because I have never said NO... I need lessons/instructions/guidance... please be patient. I do intend on learning "NO"
Sandi.. I am very angry/resentful, but am told not to "wear it/show it".... but it does fuel my FU attitude that protects me & my heart. So maybe I should have it? Dunno.
Im not sure why some of you thought "patio date" suggested working on a patio??? confused.
I am not meaning to be strategic... I have every intention of listening to you all.
I just don't know what "kicking his arse to the curb" looks like... I have never broken up with someone.
Starsky... #3? Really? I could say that & would have ... if the convo on Wednesday didn't lead to him suggesting to me to go ahead and have back up plans, incase he couldn't follow through with the patio date (as he plans on working & may be "too tired") <<<< as he feels I should be as well. He is trying to lay guilt there. So, if I were to say, sorry...made other plans... it may now come across as a game play & just piss him off. I don't care about pissing him off, I worry about "games". I thought that some honesty could be given this time instead. Something like "this is too confusing or not feeling right or NO, I give up"... might make more sense & be truthful..... thoughts?? The fact that I ask this question, is strictly to be prepared. He may not even ask... and WHEW, if he doesn't.
Whew, that he didn't "try" anything yesterday too. Cuz, I'm not sure how I would have handled it.
Eric ~ yes! I was trying to mind read because I want to remain consistent. After Wednesdays hot & steamy passionate make out. I want to send the message that I liked how passionate we are (still) but Im not interested in just casual sex. I am not demoting myself to THAT level. THIS PISSES ME OFF!! Yes, I want him to "get it"... I thought this was my goal??? I don't want to control the sitch, I want to control me.
Sandi ~ yes! having sex is HIS fun. GRRRRR. I do fear that he may not spend the time that he "says" he would. SO... won't be entertaining THAT option.
Eric ~ YES.. today's comments are resonating for me... thank you!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
