How would I validate if she said "I want a divorce"? I would say "I completely understand why you would feel that way. I didn't treat you with the respect that you deserved, and I hurt you deeply- I regret that." End. Don't keep jabbering. That's it. Let her feel understood- that's what she needs, not you trying to make excuses, or continue on with "...but, I....."!
When you can validate her statements while not letting yourself to fall into the pattern you have of justifying yourself or pleading your case, then your DB Kung Fu is strong. .
As for buying a car, thinking that will bring you together- don't be a sucker. That's an immature "fix it quick and easy" way of thinking. A car won't being you together, neither will a child nor any other "thing" you can think of. For her, it's emotional, pure and simple. She does not love you, and when you don't love someone you feel trapped and that you have to get out. She's in escape mode. The best that you can hope for is that you can get a hold of yourself, make yourself strong and emotionally attractive, and make small "deposits" into her love bank until she starts to like you again. It's a long process: come to peace with that.
It's no surprise to me that there is someone else in the picture. The way she was deceptive in her texts (avoiding directly answering questions about seeing anyone else, not "trusting herself" etc.) plus her lying about where she was spelled it right out to me. Trust me, you will make no progress until that ends.
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