Continuing my DB'ing journey...

[Maybell]

That was cruel of him. I'm sorry.

What's sad is that he can't see how pathetic it is that he's playing with a teenager.

I hope you can find comfort in your dignity. Because you clearly have lots, and he clearly has very little.

Detach. Don't let his jabs hurt you. Who would you rather be, him or you?

[T384]

That was cruel of him. I'm sorry.

What's sad is that he can't see how pathetic it is that he's playing with a teenager.

I hope you can find comfort in your dignity. Because you clearly have lots, and he clearly has very little.

Detach. Don't let his jabs hurt you. Who would you rather be, him or you?

Me without a doubt - I am learning and changing things about myself that needed tweaking. While I am not happy about working 2 jobs I am working as hard as I can to pay most of the bills on time. I am truly enjoying my time with my boys - these last 4 months he has been gone is time he will never get back. He has hurt and changed his relationship with S7

[woundedfool]

I don't know why I'm dwelling on that line.

"let go", Let go", "let go", "let go"...

come on, say it with me:

"let go", Let go", "let go", "let go","let go", Let go", "let go", "let go","let go", Let go", "let go", "let go""let go", Let go", "let go", "let go"

[T384]

I know!!!! Let go. Maybe I should go see Frozen on Ice lol!

[claire7]

Thanks for the advice. Thank you Claire. I don't feel like it but I'm certainly trying. I was thinking back this morning to when H told me that he was hanging out with the teenager because of me accusing him of it.

Yes, this is exactly what mature people do. *eyeroll*.

I can't help but think about how he said, 'what's even more sad is that you have to try and find a reason as to why Ieft you.'

I don't know why I'm dwelling on that line.

I would Imagine that most people would expect there to be some actual reason why a person would walk away from a marriage and children. It seems like your H is in a pretty bad place. Stay strong. That is something you will always have and never regret...and no matter what the future holds, you can move forward knowing that you were a strong mom for your kids and a good person. No one can take that from you.

[T384]

I just have to keep telling myself that I am fixing the problems I need to be fixed ... Well working on it. And he most certainly is not. His own mother just flew in a few days ago and is staying with the boys and I. He has no clue he's here. He told her to F*** off back in March and stay out of his life. He didn't acknowledge her for Mother's Day or her birthday. She isn't sure if she will see him or not and I told her it is up to her but I would prefer it to not be at my house or not with the boys (just incase things go south)

So my DB coach really just kind of told me to just not talk to H and act as if. Do not pursue and leave him be because right now he is I'm am addiction with this teenager. I really thought I would get more advice to be honest. She said she feels confident things won't last with the teenager but for me NOT to pack his things. And to just leave him be.

[woundedfool]

So my DB coach really just kind of told me to just not talk to H and act as if. Do not pursue and leave him be because right now he is I'm am addiction with this teenager. I really thought I would get more advice to be honest. She said she feels confident things won't last with the teenager but for me NOT to pack his things. And to just leave him be.

This is very good advice. Heed it.

I am guessing you didn't get more advice, because this is a pretty big bullet point, nothing else will fall into place until you:

1. Believe it (to let him be)
2. Follow it (actually let him be, let him succeed or fail on his own).

Keep maintaining your distance, and stay the course (detachment and acting "as if").

She said she feels confident things won't last with the teenager

Everyone who has posted about 18girl here believes it. I am just not sure if you believe it.

It is not up to you, or us to "rescue" your H (or 18girl) from the upcoming fall. But it will happen. Side note: and when it does, it probably will not play too well with his boss.

[Georgiabelle]

TO,

Leaving your h alone is FANTASTIC yet simple advice. I may sound harsh, however I will present a different perspective.

In regards to the 18 yr old, honestly anything is possible. Will it work between the two? Probably not. Like I said, anything is possible though. However, I wouldn't spend much time on that. Why? Because if it doesn't work 3 months from now or 3 years from now, you still have to live your life. And your boys are only this age. (And you:) one time.


Live your live and let your h live his. In the long run, one of you will probably much happier with the choices made.

[T384]

I understand I just feel like that's what is closing his mind from saving our marriage because he is in a full fledged relationship.

I feel like if they weren't together he would want to be with the boys and I. I know I am grasping at straws. And yes I am leaving H alone. Since Monday (talk with DB coach). I have only sent him the text with my schedule and said hello and bye at basketball. No other interaction

[woundedfool]

I understand I just feel like that's what is closing his mind from saving our marriage because he is in a full fledged relationship.

So if it is the reason he is closing his mind.... how much control do you have to change it?

And if it isn't what is closing his mind.... how much control do you have to change it?