Newbie needs help

[igit]

Its been a long 10 days since original post. wife is now telling me she has a sagging eye and she needs surgery. I saw a brochure on her desk with a quote from Cosmetic surgeon about $6500 for procedure. Wife tells me its not cosmetic she doenst know I saw brochure. I suggested she contact are insurance co. and if its not covered she should figure out how she is going to pay. Starting to take care of herself its like every other week its hair appointment, wearing her eye liner different. <it kills me because she looks great> went to kids games 2 or 3 times last 10 days and was good, sat together good conversation about games, kids etc... Its like she is trying to be my friend for future. she thinks divorce can be good and I will have more quality time with kids. She doesn't understand that I have zero interest in being her friend. Friends don't treat each other the way she has gone about this whole thing. Refusing any type of marriage counceling is the killer for me. I know we have some issues but we have always got along well and made good decisions together, earlier in week she said she thinks I should start looking for an apartment and concentrate on my business. Something came over me the next few days following that conversation. I had a good long cry and just a peace came over me. A few days ago she could tell I was being a little distant but nice. she gave me a hug when I got home from work. she has given me hugs all through this , everytime she senses I am pulling away. later that night she came into my room and I was laying on a window seat just being quiet and thinking. I usually I am very talkative and she does most of this listening this time I was very quiet and didn't start any conversation. she asked me what I was thinking , and if I had anything to say about apartment etc... I told her very quietly I had and I was going to stay in home and live each day under the same roof as a family. taking it day by day and living each day as normal as possible and to enjoy my life and family until the day I have to leave. We then got into how her job search was going I just listened to her frustration and validated that which got into more conversation. I did backslide but told her I was thinking about her. I told her she has a gift that she does very well which is compassion and friendship with the elderly. I told her a job that you don't have to think about whats in it for her but what she can give of herself might be a good thought. Anyway she asked if she could go for a drive! <we both like to drive and think> It was 10pm but I told her I didn't care, TO GO for a drive. she was very nice and said goodnight and left. She was gone for 1-1/2 hrs. Anyway the next day she called and wanted to stop by office> I asked her if it was to talk I wouldn't be able to since I had a big meeting to get ready for and didn't need the stress. She said no needed to send a fax. anyway she came in with our daughter and was somewhat mean. I needed help with an update on computer. she asked if I would take our daughter to volleyball camp I said I would and could she do a few other things for me at office. she then decided she would take daughter and didn't have time to help. She has worked for me 3-4 hours week doing accounting and office task and I pay her very well. She has indicated she would still like to work for me in future. I have told her I don't think that would be a good idea if divorced. She enjoys the work and likes it because there is no boss to report to. she has always had difficulty with woman at work and definetly as her boss. Anyway I am going away for the weekend to a friends birthday party. I have told her I am not helping with divorce! If she wants one I cant stop her but am certainly not going to be involved until I need to be. Any thoughts would be appreciated.