[BrightFuture]

Bea, yes, this is what H told me when I met him and though out our M, that his parents’ divorce influenced his decision to not have kids. He raised my son since he was 8 years old, and I will be forever grateful for that. Was he a perfect Dad? No, but he tried his best. Just the fact that he wanted to marry me knowing that I had an 8 year old kid makes me think that he was serious about our R back then. He doesn’t like kids in general, he has no patience for the kids. But he accepted me with a kid. I guess he wanted me.

And yes, he lived by his decision to not have kids on his own for his entire life. Do I need to mention that he had a vasectomy last year. Well, he kind of “old” for the kids now. I don’t really know what influenced his decision to have a vasectomy. Is he thinking to date the young girls?

Nero, it looks like your H has some big issues to deal with too. My H had a big resentment for his Mom too. She passed away on the second year of our marriage, so I didn’t have a chance to really know her. I think he still carries this resentment. I just don’t understand why he was trying to be so nice to his Dad. My friends in Mexico told me last year (when H opened up to them) that he said that he didn’t understand why his Dad did this horrible things to his Mom. He meant leaving her and not paying her any money or child support. At the same time he told me after the BD that it seemed like he was doing the same thing his Dad did. Meaning leaving his marriage and starting a new “phase” of his life.

So, I guess there is a huge trauma out there.

Matt, thanks for stopping by. I’ve been reading your posts, just don’t have time chime in. I looks like your W is trying to re-live what she lost at her childhood. She is trying to be a little girl for her Dad, doing what he asks her to. And I think you are right when you say that in order to be a little girl for her Dad, she cannot be a Mom and a wife. If you just let it go, eventually she might get tired of it, and hopefully she will remember that she IS a MOM and a Wife, and a grown up woman after all.

Sorry for the rant. I had a few glasses of wine. My sister’s son graduated from high school and I went to the graduation. Then we went to the restaurant to celebrate. Guess who also was there at the graduation… My BIL, H’s brother. He does consider me and my family as his family. H is just missing on all of it…