25yearsmlc, Good questions. From what I recall, she never voiced any complaints about our sex life. Up until the day she moved out we were a 2x per week couple or better... even after the affair was discovered.
No different acts just "feeling". She told me that sex with me was just sex; pleasurable but just sex. Sex between them is SO much more.
I have had anger issues all my life. It's a grocery list item for her. Though I'm doing much better now and have been progressing n the right direction for the past 10 years, I do still blow up and curse from time to time. I have NEVER struck her or my children in anger. Through all this (since Easter week) I have lost my cool twice. Once when she was rubbing my face in it and the second time when I found out my son had t walk home from school because she as at OM's house.
I am sad. I grieve the loss of my future. I grieve the lost of my boys' mom. I grieve the loss of a companion.
I am angry. I'm angry she never told me she was unhappy despite my asking. I'm angry she blames me for all this and has embellished our past with falsehoods. I'm angry she left my S12 sitting at home alone while she went to OM's house to have sex. I am angry that I will likely lose the only friends and family I have known for 23 years (in-laws)
She forwarded the school emails to me, so showing her does nothing. She knows all this. The comment that she doesn't understand is that his grades "nosedived" at the time her affair came up and we started our all night talks.
I'm losing control of emotions and my boys. I have no control over her. I have no control over her feeling or actions. Losing focus because of her phone call today caused me to make a costly mistake at my job. Damaging a $400k Ferrari isn't what I needed today.
