She is set on the path of destroying the marriage, her relationship with me as a divorcee, her relationship with the boys, her relationship with all of her sisters, brother and families, and of course with the church too. She called me today at work to inform me that my S16 is now in danger of failing several subjects due to a nosedive recently in his studies. Gee I wonder why?
I'm losing control fast.
Dear Dad,
I'm so sorry you are going thru this. It's a nightmare and she has NO business telling you anything they do in bed. Good grief.
Just curious, had she ever voiced comments or concerns about your sex life before?
Are the things they do, very different? Other than that, there's no "useful" info and even that information comes at too high a cost for ME...
Kudos to you for not throwing something. Are you in touch with any anger within? I ask b/c I don't hear so much anger as sadness.
I don't believe in "exploiting" anger and far too many people claim to be "venting" but in reality they are wallowing and then staying stuck.
OTOH, some anger in this situation is extremely appropriate and at times, it helps us to move in some forward direction. NO< not the "scorch and burn" behavior that ends up involving work colleagues and the neighborhood (and cannot be recovered from nearly as easily)
but the type of anger that makes you protect yourself and your assets and of course, your sons.
Regardless of her choices, I really don't believe in telling the kids more than they can handle and few children, even adults, handle this type of information about their mother, well.
Also, I notice that your wife informed YOU of the grades so, why would you need to show her anything?
She already knows the grades are dropping. Whatever value that information has to make her re-think her choices, has happened and will NOT be furthered by you pointing it out. If she were to throw something in your face about it, then I'd probably tell her to look in the mirror for that and walk out of the room.
Do not engage.
Also, you said you are 'losing control fast", but do you mean control of your emotions or of the situation?
B/C if it's the latter, realize that control was always an illusion. Giving up on an illusion is a good idea. Work on controlling what you can control, which is YOU and YOUR LIFE.
More later...hang in there.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
