Once again, TL, thanks for your insight and encouragement. Knew I could count on you! Ya, I don't want to play the victim either, but it seems I've sort of fallen into that trap. Well, I think maybe my little toe got stuck, but for the most part I know what's up here. Like I read somewhere before, if you get into some negative thinking and don't get out, you just spiral down making it that much harder to come back up.
Matt, yep, I know it just feels so disrespectful to think that a person who you loved and respected, and who you would never make that kind of decision for, would do that to you. I left my first husband, but at least I warned him first there was a problem, we went to counseling, he wasn't going to change his behavior (alcoholic) so I told him I didn't want to live with it unless he acknowledged that. He didn't think he had a problem, despite being told by the marriage counselor and his parents (but who listens to their parents), so I left.
My current STBX, I never would have expected he wouldn't at least clearly reveal his true feelings long before it was too late. Makes me think maybe he didn't want to fix it then either but was too cowardly to say anything. Oh well, all speculation. Can't change the past - only what you are doing today. Because who knows if we will be here tomorrow!
Hugs to you both!
Me 59 H47 M12 T22 No kids BD&S Apr 2,2013 - ILYBINILWY Filed 2/12/14 OW 11/13 The Universe always strikes you at your weakest point because that’s what most needs strengthening." – Joseph Campbell
Ya, I don't want to play the victim either, but it seems I've sort of fallen into that trap. Well, I think maybe my little toe got stuck, but for the most part I know what's up here. Like I read somewhere before, if you get into some negative thinking and don't get out, you just spiral down making it that much harder to come back up. 
