No nothing. I have no intention to see or talk to him. I would just let the boys give him their cards. I was only planning on doing it because even though he doesn't give a damn and my kids don't care he is still their 'dad' even if he isn't acting like one and it should be the better person and not stoop to his level (ie - not acknowledging me for Mother's Day)
Just heard from my L - H Is willing to return my pre marital vehicle if I give him the escalade he just bought me for Christmas, the L said 'my client just wants to get this divorce finalized so we are willing to compromise'
Why is he in such a hurry? I can't help but be sad about this.
I'm the cause of all his problems. I'm sure his gf and new family are pushing him for the divorce. I don't trust anything he offers when it comes to the divorce.
I was really hoping we could save our marriage before getting a divorce.
The boys don't want to do anything for him. Well my oldest doesn't. My 3 year old doesn't really understand
If it was me, I would have the kids do the cards, make sure they know to give them to him the next time he stops by.
I don't know if that is the right or wrong answer, it's just what I would do.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
If it was me, I would have the kids do the cards, make sure they know to give them to him the next time he stops by.
I don't know if that is the right or wrong answer, it's just what I would do.
I agree. Everyone IRL disagrees but my point and I only have to justify to myself is this
I am NOT doing this to pursue him or try to win him back, I am NOT doing it for him, I feel bad making my son make a card but such is life. Even though he is not being a father he is still their dad, even though he did not have them acknowledge me does not mean I have to stoop to his level. I need to be the person only a fool would leave. So in a sense I am doing it for myself and my boys. It doesn't have to be right to anyone else but me. I see it as I can let go that he didn't acknowledge me, I can have them making a card KNOWING he chose not to be with them and to be with his gf. To me that is a 180 because a couple months ago I couldn't have done it.
I would say that a man with two sons who says that "fathers day is just another day" is hurting a lot. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about them. He sounds kind of broken. Find strength in the fact that you are holding it together so well. The boys are lucky to have you!
You could make it a fun activity- the card making. However, I wouldn't tell h about it. Just let the boys give him the cards next time they see him.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I'm going through similar dilemma. I believe recognizing their dad on fathers day is as much for the boys as anyone. Its barely about you the mom at all. You should teach your kids to do something kind because that is who they are. My s is so mad at his dad right now he will probably not participate, and i guess i wont push it.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Thanks for the advice. Thank you Claire. I don't feel like it but I'm certainly trying. I was thinking back this morning to when H told me that he was hanging out with the teenager because of me accusing him of it. I can't help but think about how he said, 'what's even more sad is that you have to try and find a reason as to why Ieft you.'
