Hi all - "was never in love"

[rayzzz]

I have to say, I have my down moments, but I'm almost worried about how well I'm doing given the circumstances. But I suppose that the relationship was hard on me too; and I've thought about ending it at times. My wife suffers from depression and had breakdowns that not all husbands would have put up with. So I am not sure if this is the right way to see it, but I may take this as an opportunity to create the relationship with her that I wanted when we met 8 years ago. I know she's the one; but I am keen to start from scratch and do the work on myself. And have a good time as far as is possible.

Well done, you are a quick study. Glad you are holding up so well, but make no mistake your heart is still in shock and i think you know that sooner or later you will be riding the waves of an emotional tsunami. Make notes of what you are doing now if anything that is keeping you grounded during this...you'll need it later.

Is she showing off and on signs of depression?
Can you tell when she gets triggered? It might be all about you, right? Is she on meds?

Wouldnt worry about the book. Sure she knows you are trying anything to save the M. Now that you ar DBing you are able to make it casual and covert.

Good on your GALing. Keep detaching and remember no expectations. My WAW stopped giving me compliments on how I looked, good things I did around the house, the way I was with kids because she didnt want me to think we were reconciling by complimenting me. OUCH. Not that I need her approval but now I just expect nothing even if I catch a smile she is trying to hide.
and the best advice ever: Believe NOTHING of what you hear and only HALF of what you see. S waffle like crazy
And yeah transform yourself into the best man you can be and she won't be able to resist you. Dig deep and go forward bro