Hi all - "was never in love"

[Mat]

Sounds reasonable. It is hard to find a balance between being a decent, helpful friend and a doormat (which is especially important, since avoiding that will be my 180).

But I also have to take (some) responsibility for having handled too much of the admin in our marriage (bills, calling the plumber, you name it). W even remarked, as she was leaving and wondering whether she needed her passport, (staring into space, as if talking to herself) "I don't even know how to check into a hotel anymore". So she was a bit overwhelmed as to where to go, so instead of taking the opportunity to make her stay in our marital bed I found her a reasonable place.

So you really make me reflect with your point about not sheltering her. So I think going forward I will explain to her what she needs to do, where to find the info, in writing (in fact I did just that about the service light that came on in the car, which she's using right now), only ONCE. Some of these instructions will involve using google...