Hi all - "was never in love"

[Mat]

Well I've certainly taken steps. Read through the 7 steps in DR, sitting outside at a neighbourhood pub in the sun.

Today I was not too pleased with myself that W came in to the house to pick up stuff (in my absence), and I hadn't thought to hide the book. I should have put it away somewhere, knowing she might come by. I don't really want her to see I'm trying to remedy the divorce - certainly not read through the techniques. Pretty sure I remember a couple of Sandi rules about that. That won't help me achieve success on the LRT.

But an old friend is coming to town, and invited me along to a music festival with friends. All females. So I think it's fair to say I'm applying some of Cadet's advice above, but hopefully it's not too much. That's for the last weekend of this month.

In the meantime, we're meeting on Saturday to talk about next steps. She booked herself for a second week at the hotel. I am thinking she's starting to feel comfortable there. Until then I have to think of my goals (though at this point all I am supposed to do is LRT; in fact perhaps not thinking about goals too much will prevent me from getting ahead of myself??). I'll run them by this board. Hopefully you'll have the time to give me some feedback.

I have to say, I have my down moments, but I'm almost worried about how well I'm doing given the circumstances. But I suppose that the relationship was hard on me too; and I've thought about ending it at times. My wife suffers from depression and had breakdowns that not all husbands would have put up with. So I am not sure if this is the right way to see it, but I may take this as an opportunity to create the relationship with her that I wanted when we met 8 years ago. I know she's the one; but I am keen to start from scratch and do the work on myself. And have a good time as far as is possible.

Any thoughts welcome, obviously. Just the support shown on these boards feels really good. But I'll have something more meaty to share at some point, if anything I plan to ask for feedback on my goals, the "what will success look like" points, etc.

I really, really like Michele's approach. In many ways, it is so similar to how you'd improve performance at work. Which gives me an idea...