Ben, when I was the WAW, almost everything my H tried to do applied pressure to me. And when I felt pressure, I drew farther away from him. These types of talks causes pressure on her. Many LBH's tell the WAW something b/c they are looking for an reaction. However, it seldom is the reaction they wanted.
In a way, you have placed pressure on yourself by telling her to contact you when she's ready to work on the M. That means you cannot contact her. You can't have another talk with her, thinking it will cause her to want to reconcile sooner.
How successful this discussion has been is yet to be determined by you and how much you keep away from her. You only thought it had been tough before! Now it starts getting down to the pain.
The WAW has to feel freedom. That is a test of your love for her.....to let her be. It doesn't mean giving her a D, it just means leaving her alone without you trying to influence her decision. If she feels you aren't pressing her, and you GAL while improving yourself.....then I believe there's a chance for this M. Again, you don't tell her this. You live it. It's up to her to decide.
So, what are you going to do to help yourself get through those times you are hurting and lonely.....wanting to reach out to her? You'd better have a plan in place b/c you cannot depend upon your emotions to carry you through this.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
