Controversial Option. Apologising for causing an a

[RedHawk98]

Thank you, I totally agree with your post.
It's no excuse, but due to me moving a great distance I had to dispose of a lot of things that day. I came across that one thing that hurt me the most. So I lashed out.
It was a collection of clothes for future children. Styles that were typical of both of us, gotten not that long before the bomb drop.
It hit home hard then.

I had completely forgotten that "evidence" was still on the phone. I deleted all of it as I just don't want it. I don't need it.

I know this is far beyond saving now. I'm just clearing out the last of my things before I move country. So I will mail off the second part of the divorce paperwork off this weekend.

I hate to sound like a victim, it was never me. I've just seen so many people I loved turn on me. Her family, our friends that took sides. Some friends of mine that I have known 10-20 years have tried to sleep with her.
I've seen some of my family and friends interfere and push her further away when I didn't ask them to either.

It's been rough! But sometimes you just got to know when to fold.
When someone can calmly look you in the eyes during a pleasant conversation and tell you such revisions of history that make your mouth drop open.
The contradictions every time she's asked a question.

Aside from my outbursts earlier this week, none of the negatives that she left behind in our marriage remain.
We don't even have a stake in that shared house anymore.

Thing is, she refuses to come to my home, or even spend any sort of time with me to see the changes made.
Unless we had businesd to discuss regarding the house, it was nigh on impossible to arrange us meeting.
But when she did, she would stay for 2-3 hours each time talking about anything but business.
It would seem like she hadn't talked to anyone in months and she would enjoy herself. Tell me she missed me even.
The next time we spoke on the phone.... Ice Queen with selective memory.

She viewed me with no respect at all. That is the key problem here.

All I can do now, is move away and hope that the last time she saw me meant something.
The fact that she was a little lost for words, open mouthed and slow to reply, I am hoping is due to me never looking as good LOL