Everyone (you are right!!)... Except KenF... not accurate.
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Yesterday, I could feel Xbf demoting the "exclusive dating/fun" to "f-buddy type" status. It wasn't working for me & I felt myself grasping at straws to get back what I thought he was offering on Monday. I asked if he would like to have "fun" on the weekend? He said he plans on working and maybe a patio if not too tired. I stated that a girl likes to have some advance notice for a date, he said he can't give that and he will see how tired he is. He said if I needed to make plans elsewhere to go ahead, its not like he will be going out behind my back. If he is not with me, he will be working. Later, he admitted to that convo feeling like pressure & I ensured him that I was not interested in pressuring him. That I was unsure of stuff and wanted to talk & clarify as I am open to coming back from a "giving up" position. He is open to an f-buddy relationship that is exclusive. PROMISE exclusivity. He does worry about someone getting hurt in f-buddy relp's but lets have some fun, life is short, lets not be so serious, see what happens. What happened to the dates? Time spent? He says he still would like to do that but basically he means right now he is h*rny, and has business on the brain. He does not want friends/public to see any of affection or to question if we are back together. I said I understood as its too soon to be pressured to be successful in front of others.
Long story short.
He made his moves on me (FIRST TIME in 10 years). He pulled me in close & started kissing me very passionately. It was AWESOME !!! I pulled back and asked if there was any "feelings" in this moment. He said yes, sexual, and pulled me in for more & was quite touchy & pushing. I stopped & pulled away, and said "no" I realized that he only wants the sex. I went in for a few more kisses (as they were awesome). He repeated my "no?" and I said "no, as in not now". <<<< I needed to get out. I need more!
Then I left and pulled him in for another peck kiss beside my side of the car, outside. He got in his car, and I asked if he was mad? He said no.
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What is wrong with ^^^^^^^^ picture?......... ME!!!
There I go... just about to settle for crumbs. Demoted from exclusive dating, to exclusive f-buddy, no public affection, & make out at work!
After I left, I went straight to a friends house & realized:
NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!
I have never said "no" to him.... not sure how to travel from here.
I will have to work with him at some point today.
I do not know how to kick his arse to the curb, etc.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
