Tboned, I still say the mantra, I still have little bouts of anger once in awhile. My mother is very ill, I was just thinking last night how that effer left me and I was there for him for every horrible thing that happened to him during our marriage and now that I have had bad things happen he's nowhere in sight. Feeling sorry for myself, I wasn't part of the decision to divorce either, then I think - no, i'm not going to play victim here. He probably has his own problems now(obviously) and my problems/worries are now my own, so my only choice is to deal with them. I then say the mantra and move on to other thoughts. It simply is what it is. He's gone. We're divorced, have to keep on living. I do remind myself that I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else. I know it's hard to get unstuck. One minute you think you're doing alright and then you have a bad minute that reminds you of the reality. Stay in the present, focus on you and your needs. You have complete control over that.I made a list of my blessings. I made a list of what I wanted out of life (inner peace!!) I made a list of things I like to do - not what WE liked to do, but just things I've discovered that I like to do now that I'm alone. That was a change for me, I was all about sharing likes, now I've been able to break that co-dependency I think and focus on becoming an individual, a whole person. It's a process. You'll get there. We're growing and learning along the way and it will take time, but what we do with that time is key. I finally started my refi on the house... that's the last thing to do and he'll be out of my life, I do hope he's happy although somehow I doubt it.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
