Dealing with an ongoing affair

[PeterV2]

After work tonight I went to see her. We drank a some wine and talked about the past and the problems that lead to the A. I asked and she said it's NC. I tend to believe her. Just the way she said it. But she also said she doesn't trust my changes will last. She says it may be 5 year for then to take hold and she's not willing to wait that long. She just needs to find herself. She blamed me for taking and taking in the relationship and not giving. I know I gave, but she can't see it at all. It was another very difficult conversation. She said many hurtful things. At one point I called a time out and walked away. But we ended on a good note. She said she cares for me. She said she loves me but is not in love with me. She's dredging all sorts of stuff up from the past and I'm just trying to focus on the future. She's going to the MC again next Tuesday. Then we'll go together. I think this is going to be a long hard road to recovery. For both of us. She still feels pressured from me. I got to stop the "I love you" stuff, even though she does respond with "you know I love you too". Makes me feel good but I think it makes her feel pressured. So I have to stop it. I have to give her freedom to be. Freedom to find herself. She said she lost herself by always trying to please me, and now she feels resentful that she did that and blames me because I ate it up.
I think I should go see my MC by myself as well.