I used to subscribe to the "I can do it all by myself" theory, and I still take great pride in my independence, BUT,
Recently I reached out to my neighbor with an issue related to this, and he jumped right in. He was more help than I could have ever known. We're from different hemispheres, but he related a story to me from his past that was so much like my own that he said it brought painful memories back just talking about it.
He and his wife are fully pulling for me and my W to R. He checks in weekly to see if there is anything he can do (like invite us over as a couple).
The message here - generally, people want to help out. It makes them feel good. A big thing you could learn here, twinmom, is that it is ok to be a little vulnerable. You don't have to do this all by yourself. It really is ok to be less than perfect and to have to rely on others now and then.
