I still wrestle with exposing the affair more than I have in a wider circle. I know it would have a large effect on the secret portion of the affair, which I think would force the issue. My W would also have to make some decisions, as she doesn't want anyone to know about the situation.
Sure you wrestle. Because you still want to think there is something you can do about this situation. You think it would have an effect, but really, you can't know. I outed my W's first affair. It had an effect. It scared OM into hiding. My W was so rebellious, so upset that I took away "what she loved" that she had a one night fling with OM2, then moved on to OM3 a week later. Your W doesn't have to make any decisions. Not now, not ever. You hope she will, but you continue to apply logic to an irrational situation.
You know by now that I'm not trying to bust you. And you know that your W is not my W. I'm just saying that WAW's defy logic, and trying to guess their reaction to anything is a fool's errand. So exposing may or may not work. I don't know how we could know. Don't count on it. It will make her angry, that's a given. Not saying that's a reason not to do it.
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it's not a good idea, and I need to just let it run it's course.
I can't tell you that running it's course is a good strategy either, generally speaking. It could go on forever. If you feel the A is currently foundering, I would let well enough alone. She may pause and re-evaluate you; she may not.
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I assume the temptation is normal?
Of course, because we're a controlling lot. We want our waywards back. But if it were that simple...
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Going out tonight. Maintain a PMA and air of mystery when I see my W tonight, and then have a good time. My goal is to stuff my resentment and anger away, and successfully GAL. Did someone tell me to detach more??
Best paragraph of your post. Yep, that's the goal right there. Really, in the end, all there is is personal growth. And at some point you realize what you want and need, and your W may or may not be able to provide it. Then there's the hard part of whether you think she ever will.
I like your previous post better. You have to have the logistics of two households conversation.
