For Making Magic....

[RosaLinda]

Hi Magic, thanks so much for posting on my thread, and for your good wishes for my divorce. Yeah, my ex (I so like writing that ) continues to act like an ass and plans to move to Moscow with RT. I'm still healing, but am doing a little better every day.

But sheesh, Magic, I am awfully upset to check up on you and find you still under your SO's spell. The man has not changed one lick in the six months or so since I've read your thread. He seems worse even.

You say you're scared:
"Scared that we are not ready... as he is not willing to "work" on us, yet.
Scared of failure.
Scared of getting hurt all over again.
Scared of past behaviours.
Scared to screw up last chance."

He is never going to be ready, honey. He will never ever be ready to work on "us." There is no "us" for you and him - not in the romantic relationship sense. Business sense maybe. But you want more than that. You always have.

My H was a great deal like your SO. He was oh so willing for me to support him financially while he lived his second life with all of his OW. How many times did you advise me to get out, Magic? Now I am giving you the same advice.

URWorthy told me something once that made a big impression on me. She likened my relationship with my now ex to be like someone desperately clinging on to someone's pants leg, in an effort to be seen and heard. He never bothered to even try to see or hear me. And that view of myself sort of disgusted me. Made me ashamed of myself and made me strong enough to give him the final ultimatum.

I am surprised but thrilled that Ericmsant2 took the time to start this new thread for you. He has said straight out what you told me all last year, and I hope that you will listen to him now. You are worth more than this. You are a lovely and intelligent woman. You do not need him. Let go of his F-ing pants leg and stand up for yourself for once. Okay?