I had very little appetite for a few weeks after BD. I would eat a few bites, or just push food around on my plate. It's back to normal now though. I know that it doesn't seem like it will get any better, but it does.
Hey well it suited me lost 22 kilos, started training for marathons.. best shape in my entire adult life.. but I still hate it.. and as to treating them as friends.. well I don't count people who make me as unhappy as he does as a friend.. not sure what he is but friend it isn't..
my problem is to remember he does not want to be married.. when we are together it mostly seems fine. then something weirds him out and he remembers..
I try to remember that each time I want to contact and don't that it is step in the detaching direction and that is a good thing because he sure isn't going to want to come back while I am tracking him down.. like taming a wild bird.. patience.. and I muck it often but have seen some small glimmers of improvement while I have been more disciplined.. waiting for a call now.. I will not call or remind him.. if he calls it is a win, if it doesn't it is a win because it will make him wonder. or show him I am not needy and clingy...
Shoot, Ben. This reminds me of this book that I have patented and copyrighted through the US Patent Office.
The LBS Diet
To qualify for this special from yours truly, you must meet at least 50% of the following criteria:
-Your spouse is having an affair -Your spouse is having MLC -Your spouse dropped the bomb in the last 30-days -Free membership to the DB website -Agree to sign disclosure form to absolve Wonka of all responsibility forever for gory pictures contained within the diet book -Guaranteed weight loss in the first 6 months of bomb dropping
Oh and the shipping costs will be charged to the WAS for "emotional duress, distress."
In all seriousness though, in the last 2 weeks that we have been separated, i have eaten a total of 5 meals and one twix bar. I have gotten about 40 hours of sleep in that amount of time. So far Ive lost 12 lbs.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
So I asked her if she would come over and we could have a talk last night. She agreed to it but not without getting really snippy and asking about what. I just told her the whole situation. I had given up on her coming over about the time that she pulled up. She asked me to come down to her car. I have a feeling that she didnt want to come in the apartment because she thinks that I would just keep talking and not let her leave. So I went down to her car and she made small talk for a bit. Didnt seem to be in a bad mood but seemed really tired and stressed out. I let her finish what she wanted to talk about and then I told her this:
"I dont want this to come off as mean or anything, but I cant play these games anymore. It seems that we arent getting anywhere with talking because it just turns into a fight. I dont think we should talk anymore until you are ready to work on the M."
To my surprise that opened the flood gates. She wasnt yelling or anything but she told me everything that bothered her. I sat back and listened validating some of it. Admitting that she had every right to feel that way. She of course said the usual "why didnt you try and fix this before." I told her that i understood her frustration with it but that it was better late than never. She also told me that she wasnt sure if my changes were going to last. I said "these changes are for me, I want to be a better person for me, if you happen to be there then you will benefit as well." She also explained that she was just afraid that it would go back to the same thing. I told her that I understood that too, but that I was in this for the long haul. We discussed the 5LL which surprisingly she read already. I told her that it opened my eyes and that it could be so simple for us to have a happy M. She said that she has tried to tell me before so many times and even tried to get me to read the book. I do remember that, I told her that I was just an idiot and didnt understand what was going on or what I was doing. I also said that anyone who gets married should have to read that book first. She ended the night by driving me up to the door and asking if she should call me in a week or so. I said "no you should call me when you are ready to work on the R." She hugged me and that was the night.
Overall I felt pretty good about it. Now is the hard part though. I have to make sure that I dont contact her at all until she calls me. I want her to get a real look at what a S or D would be like and see if thats really what she wants. I know its early on for me, but sometimes you have to play for all the marbles.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
