In house separation?

[mdu]

Gearing up for yet another encounter with H. Tonight is D's pre-school graduation. We had briefly discussed going to dinner togehter with the kids (plus his older kids) after the graduation. He had suggested it but we haven't made firm plans (this is not at all unlike H, even pre-A, I'm usually the driver WRT plan making). Anyway, I need to keep myself focused on why I'm there and the most important thing....i.e, D's graduation!!! But I know as soon as it's over my stomach will be in knots wondering if we're going to dinner and what's happening next. We're also supposed to meet for lunch tomorrow, just the two of us.

I'm having more and more mixed feelings about these little get togethers. They tend to get my hopes up and send me into a bit of a tailspin afterwards. This makes me think that it's good H and I are physically separated. At some point that will have to come to a head. I can't imagine H will want to stay at his Dad's/Stepmom's forever so either he'll ask to move back home (and I'll put my conditions out there, i.e., full transparency plan) or he'll start making plans for an apartment which will be a pretty clear sign that things are headed toward D. I suspect end of summer will be a pivotal time. D will be done with full time daycare so we'll have more money available to support 2 homes if H wants to go that route.

I guess in the meantime I will try my best to keep a PMA and use these times together as opportunities to show H the new/improved MDU. And really, in the grand scheme of things what's another 2-3 months?

Of course now someone will ask...and what will I do IF the end of summer comes and goes and there's no change (i.e., H is still staying at his Dad's). Well, I guess I'll reevaluate then. But for now, barring no new info, my goal is to try to hang until then. It's SO tough, though.