Starsky, thank you for the thought about seeing my DD16's viewpoint in 10 years. That's something I'll have to consider carefully. On the one hand, I would never want someone treating her the way H is treating me right now, as if I don't matter. On the other hand, if there were a miracle and H came home next week and said it had all been a hideous mistake and he was sorry and took steps to build something new with me, then I would say the wait was worth it. I suppose it all comes down to 'what are the chances of that' and I realize they aren't good.
I also took a hard look at the Stockdale Paradox and recognized that I'm not sure I'm committed to enduring any and all difficulties to get to the end product. I'll have to think about that one, too.
In the meantime, I've had no contact with H since early yesterday morning when he and D11 left for the trip. I texted and talked to D11 multiple times, on her own phone, but didn't text or call DH and he didn't me. Just shows me how little effort he's really making right now, something I didn't see because he would reply to most texts that I sent. But apparently he's not going to initiate on his own. So be it. I don't anticipate a real need to talk to him until Sunday morning, when I will pick up D11 from him at the airport. (This is all out of state. He will then continue home and I'll stay out of state with the kids visiting family.)
The most difficult part about this is the kids. I've been working hard to shield them in hopes that H would "come to his senses". I'm beginning to see that there's no shielding them and I'm angry at H for putting them through whatever is coming. How could he make that choice? We have a counseling appointment for when we both get back in town and it might do us good to talk about how to discuss it with the kids. Any advice on that?
