1wish, I feel very sorry for you and I hope you can find some support to help you work through your personal issues. You are still very young and have plenty of time to grow into a strong person. If you choose to work on yourself your next relationship can be healthy and happy.
I made many similar mistakes as you before I found DR and this forum. But eventually I was able to make the choice to focus on myself.
There is zero chance she will continue in the R if you continue to act this way. ZERO. You are pushing her away. There is a chance she will decide to work on the relationship if you let her be and work on yourself. She is telling you exactly what she wants from you. Do you love her enough to listen? Do you love her enough to try to work on yourself instead of trying to control her?
