Wife in MLC and getting ready to leave #5

[cat04]

Matt,

I think your daughters are handling this better than you are.

Some concrete things to think about...

Get a "first right of refusal" clause. That says if the custodial parent is going to be absent for a set time or longer (say 6 hours) the other parent must he offered the time with the kids before any other sort of babysitting arrangments are made.

That will ease your mind regarding her "friends" and going away.

Second, you need to let go of the control and blame. Everyone has been saying it to you. Problem is you dont think you have control issues. You do and always have.

You began this R from a position of attempting to control by marrying someone who didnt believe in D, so that you would never have to go through a divorce.

You control things here by ignoring comments and questions or offering these long explanations as a way to silence people. IF they could just understand your perspective...

You also live in fear and project negativity.

Sure this scuks. Not gonna argue that. And its scary. The unknown is scary.

However, it is only going to be as bad as you allow it to become.

Other than space, what sort of DBing have you done?

What 180's? What GAL? What?

You blame the situation for your raging emotions. You have been at this long enough that that should be calming.

I could go on but im on my phone.

I dont know if you think we are all just stupid and have no idea what we are talking about. If you do, you are wrong. In comparison to some, you actually have a pretty easy situation. Its only hard because you are choosing to make it hard.

Anyway...