Thanks everyone, Just a really bad morning talking to my D's and hearing what my W said and didn't say. I told my D14 that I tried as hard as I could to avoid her having to go through this. She said the most impressive thing "Maybe that just means that there was nothing you could do". She's a smart kid and I'm very proud of her. She told me that her mom told her that she will be spending 7 and 7 days with her and me. Of course that isn't yet determined and she left out that she has a say in where she goes and when. My W thinks she is going to get everything SHE wants in this from custody arangements to where my D14 goes to school. She is being unrealistic in what she has been saying and of course there's the fact that she will need to leave my D with her "friends" when she needs to go away for her work.
I've been trying to be "available" for my W through this but so far all that seems to have done is make her think she will get whatever she thinks is the right thing. Trouble is I don't believe for a moment my W has anything but her own interests in mind, not what's best for our D! Nothing she has said or done makes me think anything but her sole concern is herself and her father. She is going away this weekend to be with him and this is not a good time for this to happen. I told my D that her mom left out some important details such as she will soon need to decide where she will live most of the time. I explained to her that I will always be in her life and available to her. She knows this is true and has seen that has been the case for her entire life. Even if we aren't together, I will always be ready to help her, all she needs to do is let me know.
So many unknowns here. Will her mother bring a new person in her life? Will she be able to think clearly enough to not put her in harms way when she has our D? Does she really think she will be a better mother simply because she will be "happy" just because she is on her own? What happens if she gets even more depressed and is as bad as she has been in the past where she didn't even know if she wanted to live? My W has done this in such a bad way after saying she wanted to do things "right" to min. the hurt she causes the kids. That no longer seems to matter as long as she gets what she wants. That is very scary to me.
