MC went about as expected. W was very closed. The C is very good at drawing W out, I must admit. C asked both of us where we are. W says indifferent, then later says she's done. She's grieving the end of our M. C says she knows where I am - I'm clearly trying to make things work.
We discussed needs I hadn't met. Seems physical touch and gifts are W's LL. C suggests reading 5LL; I told her I have it. C says we just failed to communicate respective needs, and didn't deal with differences in need levels. I said there is so much help out there to make the work easier if we both wanted to do it.
W said she didn't want to be one of those couples who wake up one day when kids are gone to find out they have nothing left together. I reiterated a couple of things I tried to do to build something together. (that were unsuccessful because OM was in the picture.)
I told W again that I was sorry we were here, owned up to missing what I should have seen. That because we have kids, we owe it to them to try. Not to stick together in a bad M for their sake, but to at least try to fix things. Then reassess progress down the road and make decisions. W again acknowledged the changes I have made in the last 6 months. C asked what those were, so I took the opportunity to rattle off the list, and to reiterate to my wife that I was doing whatever I could to be supportive of her career and carry my weight in the family. W did not disagree with anything I said.
C asked W again if she wanted to work on M. W says it would take a leap of faith. (so maybe she's not done? I expect nothing at this point - she is so confused.)
C told W she had to make some decisions, because meeting needs with OM was not honest or fair to me. W denied any A. I raised my hand and asserted my no lying boundary. MC asked why I thought there was an A. I said the endless texting with OM3. C told W she should decide something - either work on M, try separation w or w/o dating - something.
C suggested that W use our upcoming vacation time apart to think things through and decide if she wanted to come back to MC. She gave us a handout about rebuilding intimacy, trust, respect... As I read through each section, I think I'm firing on all cylinders as to what it's saying to do regarding forgiveness, acceptance, but that's all I can do. Ultimately, it is for W to decide.
Overall, the session was pretty calm. No real disagreements - I presented a couple of different view points after validating hers.
We went home, had dinner, then went to D13's band recital. W texted throughout recital, with one seat between us so I couldn't watch. That will be complaining to the posse how unsympathetic the C is and asking what to do next.
D had a rough night sleep - she was sobbing in her sleep again at one point. It wasn't as bad a night as I have seen though, and I thought it might have been worse. I could mind read and say she's getting more comfortable with openly cheating.
Anyway, I will carry on doing what I'm doing for me. I have a little hope that maybe when she's home on vacation she'll sort things out. I really have no reason to hope that, other than MIL and SIL will ask her what the heck she is up to and how she plans to live and provide for kids. They both like me, and they both know W is more than a little spoiled. They both think I've been good to/for W, but I also know that they will only push so much. They won't interfere too much, but they won't rescue her either.
