Hello again. Divorced parents of teen drivers, I'm looking for rational suggestions.
I got an email from H a couple of days ago. I wasn't doing much about looking for a way to get a car for S16 because (a) I'm losing money every month and am unemployed and (b) I drove "the family car" and figured S16 would drive "the family car." But H's mom can't drive and will loan her car to S16, which will be very convenient. So H has been thinking about rules.
He wrote a long message about considering restrictions on where he can drive and time of day, and gas log/mileage log, and how to make sure there are no 100-mile trips we didn't know about, etc.
I believe the state restrictions are fine, I don't really want to track his mileage and gas purchases, and I prefer to agree on ground rules rather than set up surveillance out of the gate. So I was reactive to the controlling tone of the email and decided to wait until I could see more clearly. Obviously the conversations he's having directly with S16 aren't going very well either.
So, if your kid has driving privileges I'm curious how closely you monitor their mileage and whether you are more restrictive than your state guidelines and why. I'm not in favor of setting up complicated systems I have to maintain just for the sake of exerting control. But I recognize that I tend toward trusting and respecting my kid, and dealing with mess-ups after they occur. You might call me lenient, and in that respect I'm exact opposite of H.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
