Wife is Continuing Affair-When do I Start LRT III

[PeterV2]

Dev;
I've been away for a few days and just getting caught up on your thread.
You shouldn't have reiterated the no R talk while A is ongoing. Like Sandi says, the WAW is not hard of hearing. You already told her that. Just if she brings up your R you just ask is the A over. If she says no then just say, then there's nothing to talk about.
True her A could be crashing & burning. In DB, MWD says affairs generally only last about 6 months. Then there's the withdrawal period. Throughout all of this the WAW will rewrite your history saying there where never any good times. The W will be confused and still trying to lamely keep up the lying habit she's gotten into. Mostly lying to herself, looking for things to prove that her actions were justified. Grasping at straws.
Keep working on yourself.
At some point if she ever says "we never had good times" just point out to her that she's rewriting your history. When I said that to my WAW she suddenly looked up and me like being snapped out of a dream and said incredulously, "yeah, I am". I think that was a light bulb moment for her.
Here's an excerpt from Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman which I found extremely illuminating:
"The emotional mind takes its beliefs to be absolutely true, and so discounts any evidence to the contrary... ... Feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and 'proofs' all their own."
So you cannot reason with someone who is emotionally bound in and A.
Work on yourself. Let the A take its own course. It will wither.
The Tao Te Ching says in chapter 36:
If you want to shrink something
You must first allow it to expand
If you want to get rid of something
you must first allow it to flourish
This is called the subtle perception
of the way things are
Let your workings remain a mystery
Just show people the results.
(I recommend the Stephen Mitchell translation - quoted above)
Remember this is a marathon. Keep your chin up buddy.