Is OW just batsh!$ crazy?

[zew]

twin:

But if he was going to lie why say I am a bad mom?

Because cheaters lies always reflect badly on the LBS. It helps them justify their behavior. See you deserve to be cheated on because you're a bad mom. See how that works for him? Who doesn't think it's ok to cheat on a bad mom?

And this is why you believe none of what you hear.

Any opinions on somehow making sure OW knows about this? I do NOT need any additional crap from H but honestly I am so hurt by what he said I would really like OW to know what he is up to and kick him out on his azz

1 - You don't care what OW thinks about this. What on earth does her opinion of anything matter to you?
2 - Your H has lied, lied about lies, and lied some more. You don't get hurt by those lies anymore, remember? Because they are lies.

I am scared he will hold that against this baby and won't treat her the same as the twins.

1 - If he comes back around, he will perhaps think differently, no?
2 - And if he treats her differently, you won't tolerate that, will you.

Now, please resume your day as a calm, wonderful mother.

[Starsky309]

twin:

But if he was going to lie why say I am a bad mom?

Because cheaters lies always reflect badly on the LBS. It helps them justify their behavior. See you deserve to be cheated on because you're a bad mom. See how that works for him? Who doesn't think it's ok to cheat on a bad mom?

And this is why you believe none of what you hear.

Any opinions on somehow making sure OW knows about this? I do NOT need any additional crap from H but honestly I am so hurt by what he said I would really like OW to know what he is up to and kick him out on his azz

1 - You don't care what OW thinks about this. What on earth does her opinion of anything matter to you?
2 - Your H has lied, lied about lies, and lied some more. You don't get hurt by those lies anymore, remember? Because they are lies.

I am scared he will hold that against this baby and won't treat her the same as the twins.

1 - If he comes back around, he will perhaps think differently, no?
2 - And if he treats her differently, you won't tolerate that, will you.

Now, please resume your day as a calm, wonderful mother.

Starsky

[twinmom]

Your right. It's raining here and today is S7 birthday party for his friends. Outside playing laser tag of course. I REALLY hope it stops raining! Keeping up with 13 7/8yr olds and the twins in the rain is not my idea of fun.

H sent me a text saying "da$@ rain"

No sense in responding to that.

[kml]

Yes, the WAS will always make up something in their mind to justify their behavior because otherwise, how is your H going to live with himself? ("I left my pregnant wife to have an affair because I'm just a douchebag" said no one, ever.)

The better a spouse you were, the more they have to reach for a justification.

My ex said I walked too heavy - and I TAUGHT our daughter to walk too heavy! How insane is that???

One woman here, her husband told her it was because she got too fat. Except she was like 5'9" and 125 lbs!!!

Sometimes too there's a LOT of projection involved - just substitute "I" everywhere he says "she" and see if it makes more sense to you (i.e. "I had to leave because I'm a bad dad").

If he ever recovers, he'll deny he ever said any of it - and truthfully, he won't remember!

You already know he's a serial cheater and a scumbag who didn't even try to save either of his marriages. Don't give him any more credence or space in your head. Just move on along.

[Georgiabelle]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes. Listen to Kml. When they start spouting caca like " you didn't make me chicken teriyaki last week so I knew I was done ", it's a stretch. My h said I was in a bad mood sometimes when I was pregnant. He was in a bad mood every day:-)

I also heard that he hated the way I ate tacos. Live and learn.

[Ggrass]

Yes, the WAS will always make up something in their mind to justify their behavior because otherwise, how is your H going to live with himself? ("I left my pregnant wife to have an affair because I'm just a douchebag" said no one, ever.)

The better a spouse you were, the more they have to reach for a justification.

My ex said I walked too heavy - and I TAUGHT our daughter to walk too heavy! How insane is that???

One woman here, her husband told her it was because she got too fat. Except she was like 5'9" and 125 lbs!!!

Sometimes too there's a LOT of projection involved - just substitute "I" everywhere he says "she" and see if it makes more sense to you (i.e. "I had to leave because I'm a bad dad").

If he ever recovers, he'll deny he ever said any of it - and truthfully, he won't remember!

You already know he's a serial cheater and a scumbag who didn't even try to save either of his marriages. Don't give him any more credence or space in your head. Just move on along.

This makes total sense. Mine talks of how nasty hurt full and I held a gun to his head and made him spend money!

It's true that none of them will ever take responsibility for there side of the street nor think they are the douche bag, that they remotely contributed at all.

[twinmom]

He is a piece of work. I was just sent a screen shot of a text inviting this made up person over to OW house for sexual "dessert" because OW is out of town.

Seriously, can karma please take my phone and some how get these screenshots to OW?

S7(will be 8 next Monday) birthday party was a disaster/I pulled something together and I am tired/hysterical/just emotionally drained.

So S7 wanted a laser tag party. We had the whole issue last week of the place I booked it double booking. Got another place booked but had to change date. No big deal, one kid couldn't come (happens to be his bff) but it's ok.

Today it rained! Laser tag is outside, the arcade is the only indoor activity and the party room was booked so the arcade was packed and no where to eat pizza/open presents. I waited till everyone got there and then asked if the parents would be ok with taking the kids down the street to pizza hut to just have pizza, sing, open presents, let the kids talk to each other. Everyone was ok with that, none of the parents stayed so I had 13 7/8yr olds plus my 13 yr old and the twins at pizza hut for almost 2hrs. The twins were CRAZY wild with energy as they get excited around so many kids.

I got everyone's phone number and promised to reschedule the laser tag part. Loaded everyone in the car, drove home and put the kids to bed then came into my room and cried hysterically for at least 10 minutes.

H called earlier this evening, before the party, I didn't answer and he didn't leave a voicemail. He then texts at 8pm when the party was ending "how was the party"
I never responded and he hasn't said anything else.

I am not going to respond to anything for the next few days.

[mishka422]

You are a very brave woman to take on all those kids with no help and VERY pregnant while chasing your own 2 years olds around! That is more than anyone should handle. I applaud you for your courage.

I wouldn't respond to him either. I'm sorry, but your H is a complete and total douche.

[twinmom]

Thanks, I really had no choice as I can't just not have a birthday party for S7 this year because of everything going on. That isn't fair to him.

I REALLY try hard to be a good mom. H expects me to be super calm/smile all the time/handle anything without emotion when it comes to the kids. It's hard to be like this day after day of 4 kids with no break.

It's a personality flaw but I always try and meet every ones expectations of me.

[twinmom]

I can't, I expect perfection in myself. I try to do it all then I end up breaking down.

I have tried for years to pair down my expectations and every time I do I disappoint someone and end up feeling so much regret and guilt.

Right now it's not necessarily meeting H's expectations of calmness but my kids expect me to be calm and upbeat. It's very hard.

The twins were up at 5am. The older boys are on summer vacation and fighting with each other and not wanting to do their chores. Typical kid behavior but for me combine that with my day yesterday, doing this alone and the hormones of pregnancy I often go into my closet for 5 min to cry.

I REALLY want to release my anger to H but I know he doesn't care.