Steady, steady. You have L right by you guiding you through this. Trust him!
He said if we change the language then he didn't know if he would be able to refinance.
That is his problem. Not yours. He shoved you out of your home and installed OW at the marital home. And he cries that he can't refinance the house! Meh. Not your problem.
H isn't liking how his 'script' is going up in a big puff of smoke. Ah well...that's just too bad.
