Shoot, Ben. This reminds me of this book that I have patented and copyrighted through the US Patent Office.
The LBS Diet
To qualify for this special from yours truly, you must meet at least 50% of the following criteria:
-Your spouse is having an affair -Your spouse is having MLC -Your spouse dropped the bomb in the last 30-days -Free membership to the DB website -Agree to sign disclosure form to absolve Wonka of all responsibility forever for gory pictures contained within the diet book -Guaranteed weight loss in the first 6 months of bomb dropping
Oh and the shipping costs will be charged to the WAS for "emotional duress, distress."
