You guys ask tough questions! Uncomfortable, but exactly what I need. Thanks.
Starsky, the sex life was solid. I was never one to have a headache. In fact, it's one of the things H mentioned as a positive as he was listing his grievances about the messy closet and extra lbs. The last couple of months had been less frequent, I wrote that off as his travel schedule and a big stressful business deal. Yes, I am naïve.
I know he has walked away mentally, but not physically, and that's important to me because of the kids. I really don't want them to know unless he actually leaves our home. He's a great involved dad and I think they'll be crushed that he doesn't want to live with us anymore, especially the 11D (kids are 18S, 16D, and 11D.) If any of them suspect anything, no one has hinted. Truly, we get along very well, and things seem normal.
Why am I buying time? I don't know. Waiting for a miracle, I suppose. For him to come to his senses? For the fantasy of the affair to wear off and reality to set in? It seems like the right thing to do. It was my initial response because I was so surprised that "don't let the door hit you" didn't seem like the right thing to say. Now I guess it's about not rocking the boat with the kids and seeing what happens next.
I appreciate all the responses, you are giving me a lot of things to think about and obviously I need to do some soul searching. Fortunately, I'll have two weeks apart from H to come up with some answers.