I realize that he's completely shut down and not really trying at counseling, I see it as a way to buy time. I feel like as long as he's in the house and the kids don't know, then I can forgive him whatever he's done. If he walks and our kids are crushed, that might be a breaking point for me.
What are the sexes if your three children? 18, 16 and 11 are incredibly formative years for how they are going to relate to the opposite sex, and how they are going to manage conflict going forward in their lives. How you handle this will play a huge role in their future success. I'm not telling you what to do here (none of us can), but the above is NOT just another way of saying "stay together for the sake of the kids." I'm extremely pro-marriage, I saved mine (my wife had an affair 7 years ago) and the reason I still spend time here is to pay it forward, as it were. However, you do have to teach your kids how to lay and enforce personal boundaries, and how to handle conflict. They are among the most important lessons you can teach them.
Have either of the older two asked you anything about what's going on?
