Georgiabelle, this is how it played out: right before Easter, we had been to dinner with some business clients of his. After dinner, on the way home, I asked him why he wasn't wearing his wedding band. He didn't have a good answer. I asked him to put it back on. He said, "We'll see." It went downhill from there. He said he "wasn't happy." I asked if there was someone else, asked if he was sleeping with her. Yes, and yes. He didn't answer quite that clearly, but it was obvious enough. Said he wanted to try a separation, I said no, I wanted to go to counseling. I was completely blindsided and used that to buy time. So here were are, he still lives in the house, we share a bed, the kids know nothing, and I'm posting on a divorce site.
No, we didn't really spend a lot of alone time. Most of our time together was with the kids, at their sporting events, at family dinners, etc. We would occasionally do something just the two of us which was always pleasant imo. It's still pleasant spending time with him, we don't fight, have interesting if meaningless conversations.
I realize that he's completely shut down and not really trying at counseling, I see it as a way to buy time. I feel like as long as he's in the house and the kids don't know, then I can forgive him whatever he's done. If he walks and our kids are crushed, that might be a breaking point for me.
