Trying to save (not sure if broken or bent) p2

[labug]

Why do I have such a hard time letting go her and moving on? What is about me and my values that makes is so hard for me to move forward down a path of D, etc….???

Seriously, have you seen it be easy for anyone here to let go and move on?

For many of us, we see it as a failure and that just can't be! (she said, sarcastically)

For me, I loved my H, although we didn't like each other very much toward the end, and it took him leaving for me to realize how much I loved him and also how unhappy I was generally. I say I loved him but my emotions were so blunted at the time that I questioned if I could or did love anyone. I didn't feel much and what I did feel was best described as despair. That's how deep I was in the hole.

That's why I'm so verbal about honoring emotions (I didn't say acting on them). Once you start blunting one emotion, they all begin to die out.

My unhappiness was all me and my stuff. So I decided to work on it. Others don't.

It's scary work.

Not doing the work doesn't give anyone a free pass on how they treat others.

went inside and found that nothing had been started for dinner and kids were saying they were hungry
- went upstairs to find several loads of laundry on the floor in the bedroom along with windows open while A/C was on

So how important is it, really?
I ask that as someone who would have been royally p!ssed about these kinds of things in my previous life.

Now I would either do the laundry or decide it's not that important right at that moment and not let it get to me.

I'd close the windows.

I'd make a plan 1)Tell the kids it's catch-as-catch-can tonight, or 2)Let's order pizza, or 3) Always have a something frozen that's a slam dunk for nights like that, or 4)Breakfast for dinner.

That's you taking responsibility for things that are bothering you.

I'm not a real good dinner planner/fixer. Never have been although I've tried. My talents lie in other areas. I do cook and am pretty good, I just don't like the every night part. :)(side note, I used to beat myself up about this, had a lot of guilt, after all I was raised in the 60s-that's what women did)

My H is also a very good cook and he can plan ahead and make it happen. He's much better at it than I am. S21 also cooks so between the 3 of us we eat every night but it's certainly not my sole responsibility. H and I have had discussions about this and I've said, I don't like that job, I will do it my fair share, but I don't want the full responsibility.

I share this as maybe an alternative viewpoint 'cause we have no idea where your W really is on this. Food for thought, a wider lens maybe for you.

(I have a feeling you're going to be thinking, "So what if I don't want to go to work?")