You are all right. He will do what he will do. I guess I would have simply talked/texted him about the day, what the kids and I did, etc. Things we would have normally talked about. But none of that is going to make a difference to our relationship. It's just really difficult to let go.
Starsky, I was completely unaware that things had gotten this bad. We were busy with jobs, three kids, etc. etc., and I just was clueless. I really didn't know he had any marital complaints. In retrospect, maybe that was the problem, that I was unaware, I just thought it was a busy time in our lives and took it for granted that we would be there for each other once the kids were older and/or out of the house (oldest leaves for college this fall).
He now says that his main complaints were 1) the house was not clean enough, the main culprit being my closet. MY closet, not his, not the rest of the house. It was in fact a mess for a while, but looked great when all this happened. And 2) over the years my weight has gone up and down. Yes it has, although I've never been truly overweight except post-pregnancy, and I've been at a normal weight consistently for a couple of years. I don't mean to dismiss his issues, but these sound like pretty flimsy excuses to me. There's more to it, I just don't know what it is.
Counseling is out of pocket. I know that OW needs to go, and our counselor has told him as much. But I'm not going to be the one to nag about it. I'm hoping she will turn into the nagging woman I am not.
