Sex was great, then we married?

[GoatGal]

"Well, I'm not going to wait 8 years for sex, if that's the idea!"

I don't think anyone would advocate that, unless that's something you both agreed upon.

"My W and I talked about it once when I presented how I was feeling, I admit it wasn't the best conversation and I didn't walk away soon enough, but we've spoken about it briefly maybe twice since."
Please elaborate.

Here is a hint. Maybe that first convo got her feeling a little threatened? Sounds like this is a SORE TOPIC, for whatever reason. Maybe you can look at reasons why that might be?


"When I'm with my W though, I don't bring it up. I have been doing great with talking more, listening, and just forgetting the ML part for a while."

This part is great! How long is "a while"?


"Last night we sat in bed naked and just talked. It helped me not be so nervously upset when the lights went out. "

This part, not as good. Because it still seems your focus is on sex, NOT on her.
Almost as if you're acting like you don't care, (good first step) but deep down, that's REALLY what you're concerned about, yourself and your needs.
(If you hadn't said "naked" it wouldn't have popped out to me.)
When the lights go out, what do you think is "supposed" to happen?

See if you can really get your mind and heart on HER and HER NEEDS. Put yours on the back burner for now. You might see a difference.

Now, you're on a forum called "Divorce Busting".
I hope you're not considering divorcing your wife after 8 dry weeks. (?) I get the strong sense that this might be on the table, as if she/you/somebody needs to fix this, or you're outta there.

Can you say "Pressure"???

Pressure makes ML everything it's not supposed to be.
Neither men, nor women, are at their best when there is pressure to "perform" as required.

Think about that and get back...

Caveat: I am a newbie and I would definitely take what the vets say over my two cents. I only feel comfortable posting here because I have personal experience in this area.

---GG