So before you got married your interests were "clubbing" and "messing around" with girls... and now that you are married, it sounds like your hobby is mostly...your wife?
I'll be blunt:. You are both quite young. Still adolescents, technically. She is telling you very clearly and honestly that she doesn't quite know who she is, and she wants some time to find out. In my opinion, that is a pretty reasonable request for a 21 year old to have. It sounds like she wants more out of life than just hanging out at starbucks or the mall, or her apartment cooking you dinner. She wants to explore life a bit. I'm not sure why you seem to be unwilling to do that... perhaps you are afraid to realize that you don't quite know who you are, or what you want out of life? That you are not quite ready to become a grown up?
Re-read that chat through your wife's eyes... if you were her, would YOU want to be married to you?
Take this time to let her discover herself...and more importantly, take this time to discover YOURSELF. What is holding you back from GAL? (And that doesn't mean going clubbing). What are you afraid of? Why are you so afraid of letting her have some time to work on yourself? (That sounds like a very mature attitude for a 21 year old, IMO.)
What do they mean discover themselves.. I didnt get married for a yr or 10 or 40 I got married til death did us part.. she should have found herself before she got married.. fair enough its a mature request but it doesnt seem that fair tearing up someones life just because your uncertain about your own.
end of the day she wants space to 'get her emotions back' as she says she feels numb but she wants me to move out for that time and from what others have said you shouldnt move out as they wont see your changes.
To be honest I dont want to go clubbing its not what I wanted, and stopped just before I met her. I found myself hence why I settled down. She wanted the marriage more than I did to be honest but at the same time I also wanted it, I want to be married have a kid and start a family.
You got a point but I dont see why me and her cant do activities together. I want to go exploring the world with a companion and I wish it be her.. she wants the same.. but by herself from what she says..
I don't know what to do and where to go from here.. I dont believe in you were too youbg to be married because most people I know were married really young and are still together.
Its about maturity, commitment and also forward planning dedicated with problem solving solutions. I dont think im that mature but I damn well sure am committed.
I dont know what to do but from what your saying I should leave and move out and just get the divorce over and done with and if she comes back like a loser take her back.. thats not fair on me.. but if I have to do that then ill do it. As long as your certain thats fine.
