I the very beginning of my posts I made a statement that my marriage was over. I was quickly told that this is a forum to save a marriage. I offered to leave.twice). I was encouraged to stay and keep posting. To work on me and my part In 4 days, with the feed back from this forum I've gone from believing that my W was the sole problem with our M to reflecting on my part and owning it. I wish I could explore this further. I obviously cannot do that here. I will with my C.
I have read parts of many threads. Some people in here are on there second or third R/M. Many have stated that they didn't save an M but have grown themselves and are now happy in new R.
I stated clearly my M was over. It wasn't a lie. The fact that I am presently in an R and my w is in a supportive emotional relationship( I don't think it's physical yet) shouldn't stop me from exploring my part in the failure of the M and how I can grow. And that's really all I ver tried to do here
Is this ^^^ more of the same behavior patterns that you had during your marriage ???
The need to be right, regardless of the situation ??
The lack of CLEAR communication that you can twist into you being the victim ???
Now, if you are done with your pity party, you can choose to stay and work on you (like you have stated that you wanted to do), or you can choose to run away from yet another situation in your life...
I am also not buying your crap, about the affairs...
Either by you, or by her...
I think that ACCUSING her of that, takes the heat off of your actions...
And you have shown, that you catapult your feelings and emotions off of her...
It also allows you to be the victim in any given situation. And as long as you THINK that she is, then it allows you to be innocent...and justified in what you are doing...
It's called projection , and it is really F'ed up.
You underestimate a lot of people posting here, and the experience that they have in seeing the situations for what they really are...
If it looks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, and walks like a Duck....
It's probably a Duck....
There are usually three sides to every story...
Yours, Hers, and somewhere in the middle, is where the truth is....
What has been said to you ( and I apologize if MY words were unclear)...
Was that, from what you have said here, it is perceived that you are not done with your Marriage. Your words here are very similar to a person who is still on the fence. You are wondering IF things COULD be different with her. You are unsure if there COULD be a future with her...
