Ok here we go part two

[GoatGal]

cw,

I think MrBond put it very well.


You did state several things and I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt--ONCE--- and address them here.

You said you loved your wife.

You said you wanted to be divorced.

You said you loved your wife.


You described a situation that was so similar to mine that I gave a lot of my time to helping you, and yes, helping myself understand because I saw similarities between you and my husband.

However, when you started with the whole, "I've got a GF", laughing, snarky tone and comments, and the "gotcha!!!" attitude---that turned everybody off, and for good reason.

If help for your marriage, understanding, and help for future relationships is what you're looking for, you're in the right place.

If you're here because you're really not over your wife and it's driving you batty because you think she's on here connecting with another guy, well, you're STILL in the right place!


The fact that your wife is on a site called "Divorce Busting" oughta be a big clue...

And unless you're only here to "send her a message" or spy on her, YOU came to a site called "Divorce Busting".


So please give me your thoughts on that.


However, if you're here to manipulate people to feel in control of your life when you're not, react with venom when cornered, well, then you still sound a lot like my H.
And, according to him, we ARE getting divorced! (Yet, his actions don't really support this very well.)

In my opinion, my husband resorts to saying hurtful things and passive-aggressive, angry tactics because he has limited coping skills to do much of anything else.
He resorts to a lot of the same stuff you did ^^^ when he is under emotional stress.
It's not an excuse, it's just an explanation.
Maybe you can see yourself there, or not.

But it all boils down to what you said originally:
You tend to keep everything inside and are not really comfortable showing your true feelings.
Strong emotions are difficult to handle, so it's easier to avoid them.
Easier to be a "good provider" than an intimate confidante. (I know, I'm paraphrasing)

It is exactly this way of dealing with things that causes important issues to be dealt with covertly, rather than openly.
And, in my opinion, posting as you did on this forum is a great example of going about things in an underhanded way.

But it's easier to be angry and thus feel "in control" of others, than it is to feel vulnerable to them.
Maybe we hit a bit too close to your inner "stuff"????

Just food for thought.

Seems to me, talking intimately to your wife, up close, and in person, in a supportive way, would have been the better option--- when you had it.

(Gee, I learn something new every day! You helped me clarify that one.)

So it's up to you.
Feel free to ignore everything I just said. After all, they're just words from a total stranger.
And I have already given you far too much of my time and attention.

But as MrBond said:

Play nice or take your ball elsewhere.



---GG