Reality is that you did have children with him.

And I hope that you love them very much.

Remember that they are 50% of him and 50% of you.

So being angry and hostile to him means that you are half angry at your children.

Just like with children you are angry at his ACTIONS,
you need to detach from those actions and
store your love for him away some where in a safe place.

Food for thought

Me-70, D37,S36