So before you got married your interests were "clubbing" and "messing around" with girls... and now that you are married, it sounds like your hobby is mostly...your wife?
I'll be blunt:. You are both quite young. Still adolescents, technically. She is telling you very clearly and honestly that she doesn't quite know who she is, and she wants some time to find out. In my opinion, that is a pretty reasonable request for a 21 year old to have. It sounds like she wants more out of life than just hanging out at starbucks or the mall, or her apartment cooking you dinner. She wants to explore life a bit. I'm not sure why you seem to be unwilling to do that... perhaps you are afraid to realize that you don't quite know who you are, or what you want out of life? That you are not quite ready to become a grown up?
Re-read that chat through your wife's eyes... if you were her, would YOU want to be married to you?
Take this time to let her discover herself...and more importantly, take this time to discover YOURSELF. What is holding you back from GAL? (And that doesn't mean going clubbing). What are you afraid of? Why are you so afraid of letting her have some time to work on yourself? (That sounds like a very mature attitude for a 21 year old, IMO.)
