Btw I had a major chat with her today I dont know if I should ppst it because its so long and dont know if you guys will help me anymore because I think I messed up reaaal reaaal bad.
I remember the first time I saw shisha. I was on a university campus and being an RA, I freaked out thinking they were up to no good. Gotta love cultural education
I feel that you need to find some other things to do for yourself. "Used to" is different from the now and your current GAL activities all exist within your home. Take us back to when you first started dating your wife. What was your life like? How much were you working? What did you do outside of work? What activities did you do with your wife while you were courting? Did you have any hobbies or interests then? Did you have an active social life (not going out getting drunk but getting together with friends, whatever the activity)?
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Btw I had a major chat with her today I dont know if I should ppst it because its so long and dont know if you guys will help me anymore because I think I messed up reaaal reaaal bad.
We don't cut people off who are trying to save their marriages, or just save themselves.
Whatever mistakes you make, I'm sure I've seen worse.
Go ahead, Post it. Know that no one will judge you here. You may get a few "2 x 4"s but that's the cost of getting helpful feedback.
No SINGLE fight or thing you do, will "End it forever". Start over if you have to. We all have been where you are
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
[09/06 10:01] *Her*: Well then just go *ME* start ur life fresh withsome good [09/06 10:01] *Her*: I dnt need this and nieva do u [09/06 10:01] *Her*: So just go [09/06 10:01] *ME*: I want u bbe n i all I want is u to be honest [09/06 10:02] *ME*: I dnt care what u do as long as u neva cheat or see any other guy u can do anything [09/06 10:02] *ME*: I dnt want lies n b hurt by em [09/06 10:02] *Her*: I dont trust myself anymore [09/06 10:02] *Her*: I dnt no what ican and can not do [09/06 10:03] *ME*: Trust urself to do what [09/06 10:03] *Her*: To not lie and shyt [09/06 10:03] *ME*: Whys that do you think u can cheat [09/06 10:03] *ME*: Oh ok [09/06 10:03] *ME*: I thought u were sayin dat [09/06 10:03] *Her*: I just want out [09/06 10:03] *Her*: Fynd urself sumink better *ME* this aint gna go newer [09/06 10:04] *Her*: Its just gna b like this coz i aint got ne feelings [09/06 10:04] *ME*: But we know ur not gonna because ur not gna go [09/06 10:04] *ME*: N I dont wna make it hard for u [09/06 10:04] *ME*: But I dnt want u 2 make it hard 4 me eitber bbe [09/06 10:04] *ME*: Just be honest with me bbe [09/06 10:04] *ME*: Pls [09/06 10:05] *Her*: I cant be honest anymore i dnt no why i just cant [09/06 10:05] *Her*: Im sorry [09/06 10:05] *Her*: I dnt no what im doing nemore [09/06 10:05] *Her*: And i do wana go [09/06 10:05] *ME*: I no u do but ur most likely not bbe [09/06 10:05] *Her*: U dnt no that [09/06 10:05] *Her*: If i stay its coz i nt wana c u hurt but then im hurting and duin all of this [09/06 10:06] *ME*: Ur not cheating or seeing any1 behind my back r u [09/06 10:06] *ME*: Ur not seeing guys r u [09/06 10:06] *ME*: U can be honest [09/06 10:06] *ME*: What was so wrong for u 2 tell me that u wanted 2 jam by urselg [09/06 10:06] *ME*: Nothing!!! [09/06 10:07] *ME*: Its fine [09/06 10:07] *ME*: Just tell me [09/06 10:07] *ME*: U hardly lie to me from what I no [09/06 10:07] *ME*: All I ask is dnt ever speak to any guys n especially not b n just b honest [09/06 10:07] *ME*: N these things u do anyways [09/06 10:07] *ME*: Its jus wen u feel like u cant tell me u lie [09/06 10:08] *ME*: But u need to know wen u lied once u would have to tell a 100 other lies 2 cover that 1 lie [09/06 10:08] *ME*: Look I think deep down u know ur gna stay [09/06 10:08] *ME*: But theres a part of u that doesnt want 2 [09/06 10:09] *Her*: Xactly i dnt want to i cant do this anymore not the ryt way neways [09/06 10:09] *ME*: I know bbe [09/06 10:09] *Her*: But i feel forced and stuck [09/06 10:09] *Her*: Like i owe u [09/06 10:09] *Her*: Im sorry that u have to hear this and deal with it [09/06 10:09] *Her*: But its just how i feel [09/06 10:09] *ME*: Its ok [09/06 10:09] *ME*: I understand [09/06 10:10] *Her*: We married toooooop young [09/06 10:10] *ME*: Ita fine [09/06 10:10] *Her*: And now im stuck [09/06 10:10] *ME*: I know bbe [09/06 10:10] *ME*: Im sorry [09/06 10:10] *Her*: Dnt b [09/06 10:10] *Her*: Its not u its me [09/06 10:10] *ME*: But if we r stuck then we we myt as well make the most of it [09/06 10:10] *ME*: Ur gna stay [09/06 10:10] *Her*: No [09/06 10:10] *ME*: But u dnt accept it [09/06 10:11] *ME*: If u accept it we can make it amazing [09/06 10:11] *ME*: Yh we got married young [09/06 10:11] *ME*: It was not right [09/06 10:11] *ME*: We shldve waited [09/06 10:11] *ME*: We didnt know much [09/06 10:11] *ME*: But we did love each other [09/06 10:11] *ME*: N logically yes we can live with eachother [09/06 10:12] *ME*: But also yes we pretty much r stuck [09/06 10:12] *ME*: N knowing that we r stuck doesnt help [09/06 10:12] *Her*: I nt wana b stuck [09/06 10:12] *Her*: I hate it [09/06 10:12] *Her*: I feel caged in my own home [09/06 10:12] *Her*: I dnt wana b like this [09/06 10:12] *ME*: Bbe ur a fool [09/06 10:13] *ME*: Thats all im gna say [09/06 10:13] *ME*: [censored] tell me u wna go out for a bit [09/06 10:13] *Her*: Maybe i am [09/06 10:13] *ME*: Tell me u want me away for the weekend [09/06 10:13] *ME*: Ill do it [09/06 10:13] *ME*: U dnt [censored] tell me [09/06 10:13] *Her*: I wana be alone!!!!!! [09/06 10:13] *Her*: U dnt get it [09/06 10:13] *Her*: I cant do this [09/06 10:13] *ME*: I no bbe [09/06 10:13] *Her*: No u dont u really snt [09/06 10:14] *ME*: I jus dnt want u 2 blame it on me n resent me [09/06 10:14] *Her*: Its like im stuck in a body that i dnt wana be in and im struggling to get out but i can coz if i do the body will die without a soul [09/06 10:14] *ME*: Yh we r stuck [09/06 10:15] *Her*: Im scared i myt [09/06 10:15] *ME*: No pls dny [09/06 10:15] *ME*: U no thats not fait [09/06 10:15] *Her*: I kno it thats y im sayin all this [09/06 10:15] *ME*: We both went In to this together [09/06 10:15] *ME*: I no bbe [09/06 10:15] *Her*: Coz i dnt trust myself i myt just end up [09/06 10:16] *ME*: Pls bbe [09/06 10:16] *ME*: I no n I knew this already [09/06 10:16] *ME*: I knew it wen u said ull distance urself [09/06 10:16] *ME*: Ur not letting ur walls down because ur afraid n have resentment buily up [09/06 10:17] *ME*: U dnt wna let ur love for me out the boz because ur scared ill hurt u again [09/06 10:17] *ME*: U want to do it but u cant [09/06 10:17] *ME*: U feel lyk u want to be alone because u have built up that resentment [09/06 10:17] *ME*: End of the day we both know we are not getting a divorce [09/06 10:17] *ME*: N im not going anywhere [09/06 10:18] *ME*: But it hurts u knowing that [09/06 10:19] *ME*: *Her* can we just pleade let this divorce talk slide now pls bbe.. its hurting me n I dont show it coz wenever im around u I feel so happy n it goes but as soon as im away from u it hurts [09/06 10:19] *Her*: I still want a divorcei feel its the best thing [09/06 10:20] *Her*: I wnt ever let my walls down i feel nothing inside i dnt feel hate anger or love [09/06 10:20] *ME*: But u know ur not gna go ahead with it because u dnt wna do that to me [09/06 10:20] *Her*: And i like it that way [09/06 10:20] *ME*: I know u do [09/06 10:20] *ME*: Who wldnt [09/06 10:20] *Her*: I dnt wana feel all those emtouons again and i will everything to mke sure i dont [09/06 10:20] *ME*: Because then theres no pain [09/06 10:20] *ME*: No dont say that [09/06 10:20] *ME*: Pls bbe [09/06 10:20] *ME*: Its ur right [09/06 10:20] *ME*: Im sorry [09/06 10:21] *ME*: N thats fine [09/06 10:21] *ME*: I understanf [09/06 10:21] *Her*: How can u sit there at tell me that u kno i wont give u a divorce coz i dnt wana hurt u that way and be cool with it??? [09/06 10:21] *Her*: Do u not feel anything? [09/06 10:21] *ME*: I aint kl with it bbe [09/06 10:21] *ME*: It kills me inside [09/06 10:21] *Her*: Ofcourse u are [09/06 10:21] *ME*: I feel like ive hurt u so much [09/06 10:22] *ME*: N wot ur doing is something that shows me how much of s prick I am more than I thought I was [09/06 10:22] *ME*: I hurt ut [09/06 10:22] *ME*: I pushed u away [09/06 10:22] *ME*: But end of the day u still stuck around [09/06 10:22] *ME*: Ur still not willing to let me go because ur that person [09/06 10:23] *ME*: N it takes a real person to do that [09/06 10:23] *ME*: N I cant live up to that n no I wldnt b able to do that [09/06 10:23] *ME*: Ur better than me bbe [09/06 10:23] *ME*: U rly r [09/06 10:23] *ME*: U no I dnt deserve u [09/06 10:23] *ME*: I no I dnt deserve u [09/06 10:23] *Her*: Forget it [09/06 10:23] *ME*: But u still staying [09/06 10:24] *Her*: This is jjst goin in circles im gna just live like a zombie until i crack again [09/06 10:24] *Her*: Thats all im worth [09/06 10:24] *ME*: N all I can do is try make u happy for as long as I live [09/06 10:24] *ME*: I appreciate this bbe [09/06 10:24] *ME*: N I will never forget [09/06 10:24] *ME*: I wont let u crack [09/06 10:24] *Her*: M not stayin *ME* [09/06 10:25] *Her*: I dnt wana be in this why dnt u understand [09/06 10:25] *Her*: How can u keep me happy in sumink i dnt wana be in????? [09/06 10:25] *Her*: U dnt get it [09/06 10:25] *Her*: This all abt u [09/06 10:25] *Her*: Always has been [09/06 10:25] *ME*: No its not [09/06 10:26] *Her*: Yh it is [09/06 10:26] *ME*: So what are you saying [09/06 10:26] *ME*: Ur gna stay loke a zombie [09/06 10:27] *Her*: If i stay yh [09/06 10:27] *Her*: But i dnt intend in stayin [09/06 10:27] *Her*: I cant do this [09/06 10:27] *Her*: Im sorry [09/06 10:27] *ME*: So your going [09/06 10:27] *ME*: Its ok [09/06 10:27] *ME*: I understand [09/06 10:27] *Her*: Well yh i wana [09/06 10:28] *Her*: But as days go by its gettin harder [09/06 10:28] *ME*: But ur not gna [09/06 10:28] *ME*: Is what ur sayin? [09/06 10:28] *Her*: U mived in with me and made it alot harder [09/06 10:28] *Her*: I am gna go?!!!!!! [09/06 10:28] *Her*: In not stayin [09/06 10:28] *ME*: Ok so ur going ok [09/06 10:28] *Her*: Yhhhhhh omg y dnt u understand [09/06 10:28] *ME*: Thats ok [09/06 10:28] *ME*: Its the way u were saying it [09/06 10:28] *ME*: I honestly thought u were gna stay [09/06 10:29] *ME*: Ok kl bbe u can go [09/06 10:29] *Her*: I told u not to think like that [09/06 10:29] *ME*: Im sorry [09/06 10:29] *ME*: I cldnt help it [09/06 10:30] *ME*: Damn [09/06 10:30] *ME*: This hurts [09/06 10:30] *ME*: But im ok [09/06 10:30] *ME*: I cant force u 2 stay [09/06 10:30] *Her*: Im soort [09/06 10:30] *Her*: Sorry [09/06 10:30] *ME*: U stay if u can [09/06 10:30] *ME*: Its kl [09/06 10:30] *ME*: Dnt say sorry [09/06 10:30] *Her*: Its best for both of us [09/06 10:30] *ME*: No its best for u [09/06 10:31] *Her*: Coz if i build resentment it wnt be fair on u [09/06 10:31] *ME*: The resentment I can handle [09/06 10:31] *ME*: Resentment never stays forveer [09/06 10:31] *Her*: U shouldnt thoe u deserv better [09/06 10:31] *ME*: I know.. but I wldnt want any1 but u.. because I love u so deeply [09/06 10:32] *ME*: N tbh I built that wall for u by what I did [09/06 10:32] *Her*: U can love sumone else that way too [09/06 10:32] *Her*: Just takes tym [09/06 10:32] *ME*: Nope [09/06 10:32] *ME*: It wouldnt be the same [09/06 10:32] *ME*: I had a future with u [09/06 10:32] *Her*: No we didnt [09/06 10:32] *ME*: I planned my life with u [09/06 10:32] *ME*: I thought u would b the mother of my kids [09/06 10:32] *Her*: Future died when we got married [09/06 10:33] *ME*: I thought u would be there holding my hand wen I die [09/06 10:33] *Her*: Oh please [09/06 10:33] *Her*: These can happen again with sumone else [09/06 10:33] *ME*: These r what I planned [09/06 10:33] *ME*: I wish u staye [09/06 10:33] *ME*: But its ok [09/06 10:34] *Her*: Y would u keep sayin that and then say its ok?? Ur fuckin with my head [09/06 10:34] *ME*: Because its not ok but im trynna make it easier for u 2 go because I dnt wna hurt u [09/06 10:34] *ME*: I dnt wna make it hard for u [09/06 10:34] *ME*: Yh ur destroying my life [09/06 10:34] *ME*: Yes im gna b broken n traumatised [09/06 10:35] *Her*: Seee this is emotional blackmail [09/06 10:35] *ME*: But I dnt want to make u feel bad or anything because I love u n I want the best for u n thats whatever u choose [09/06 10:35] *ME*: Ur choosing to go n im choosing to support u [09/06 10:36] *ME*: But deep down thats whats gna happen jus dnt ask me coz itll make it harder 4 u [09/06 10:37] *ME*: Dnt wry about my pain think about your happiness [09/06 10:37] *ME*: Because I am thinking about ur happiness [09/06 10:37] *ME*: N I jus want u 2 b happy [09/06 10:37] *Her*: U think this isnt gna hurt me!??? [09/06 10:37] *Her*: U always just think abt urself N ur pain [09/06 10:37] *ME*: I thought this is what u wany [09/06 10:38] *ME*: I thought this is y ur doi g it to be happy [09/06 10:38] *Her*: This is the beat thing for us in the long run [09/06 10:38] *Her*: But separating do u not think it will hurt me aswell [09/06 10:38] *ME*: Yh it will [09/06 10:38] *ME*: But in the long run I have a diff oppinion [09/06 10:38] *Her*: [censored] this shyt... This what i mean we are not ryt for each other coz u just dnt get me!! [09/06 10:38] *ME*: I jus dnt want u 2 leave me n go [09/06 10:39] *ME*: But if u go I aint stopping u [09/06 10:41] *ME*: I jus think you shouldnt go because if you do theres no turning back.. but if u stay then u can always get out as u said u feel u will crack but if u dont then u no it was the right thing to stay [09/06 10:41] *Her*: Whats the point [09/06 10:41] *ME*: Then atleast we both know we tried everything [09/06 10:42] *Her*: Do u fink its easy to just crack again a person shouldnt have to go thru that over and over again [09/06 10:42] *ME*: N wont have regrets or guilts [09/06 10:42] *Her*: No [09/06 10:42] *Her*: I dnt wana try [09/06 10:42] *Her*: Im done [09/06 10:42] *ME*: But thats the thing I dnt think ud crack [09/06 10:42] *ME*: N if u go then its worse than cracking [09/06 10:42] *ME*: Because theres no turning back [09/06 10:43] *ME*: With cracking atleast u know for a fact u gave it ur ur 100% all [09/06 10:43] *ME*: Ur most likely not gna go [09/06 10:44] *ME*: But all I ask is just stop the divorce talk because its killing me [09/06 10:44] *ME*: Im not forcing u to stay [09/06 10:44] *ME*: But we both know we kinda r stuck [09/06 10:44] *ME*: N I dnt want u 2 blame me for it [09/06 10:44] *ME*: Because its both of us [09/06 10:44] *Her*: And i dnt choose to stay stuck thats not the way of lifw [09/06 10:45] *Her*: I got myself into this mess well ill get out of it aswell [09/06 10:45] *ME*: Yh but rly n truelly u think u have it in ur heart to do that to me [09/06 10:45] *ME*: No matter how u try justify it u no u cant do it [09/06 10:46] *Her*: I can ever forget what u did to me and everytym i look at u it reminds me of it idt wana live that way coz i will never forget good things people forget but pain can never be forgotton esp not this [09/06 10:46] *ME*: I just hope u dnt resent me [09/06 10:46] *ME*: Pls [09/06 10:46] *Her*: I dnt care anymore abt what i have in my eart or not its eova ur happiness or Myn and im dne puttin u first [09/06 10:47] *ME*: U said ur self u know ull b haply with me but its noy the happinrss u desrvr [09/06 10:47] *ME*: But if u go then u b extra haply n I dnt have no happiness [09/06 10:47] *Her*: But eventually u will fynd someone [09/06 10:47] *Her*: N u woll be happy [09/06 10:47] *ME*: U dnt no the future [09/06 10:47] *Her*: Woteva *ME* [09/06 10:48] *ME*: *Her* dnt do this [09/06 10:48] *Her*: Ur tellin my ur never bna be happy agaim in the next 50 yeara??? [09/06 10:48] *ME*: Dnt break us apart bbe pls [09/06 10:48] *Her*: Y coz its hurtin u?? Well i payed my part in hurt and pain tol *ME* dis u care? No [09/06 10:48] *ME*: I do [09/06 10:48] *ME*: Thatd why I wana fix it [09/06 10:49] *ME*: Thatd y I wna b there for u [09/06 10:49] *Her*: I didnt *ME* we wer just never meant be.. We i married u u broke us u left me neglected every nyt alone... [09/06 10:49] *ME*: I know for a fact we can both be hapoy toge a [09/06 10:49] *ME*: I no I did [09/06 10:49] *ME*: N dnt make the same mistake I did [09/06 10:49] *ME*: Dnt drop down to my lvl [09/06 10:49] *Her*: I dnt wana b in this y dnt u get it?? [09/06 10:49] *ME*: If u wna go u can go.. [09/06 10:49] *Her*: Im done with this convo [09/06 10:49] *Her*: Bye [09/06 10:50] *ME*: I aint stoppi g u [09/06 10:50] *ME*: But all im saying is we both know u aint got it I ur heart to go [09/06 10:50] *ME*: N deep down ur nt gna go [09/06 10:50] *Her*: Dn under estimate me coz i promise u i do *ME* i really do [09/06 10:50] *ME*: Yh u do theres a part of u [09/06 10:50] *Her*: N i i wana go i will go.. It will hurtu but u will recover [09/06 10:51] *ME*: Ah [09/06 10:51] *Her*: I dnt intend on sacrificing my happiness for urz [09/06 10:51] *Her*: Its not worth ot nemore ive dne enuf [09/06 10:51] *ME*: Ok thats fine [09/06 10:51] *ME*: Kl bbe [09/06 10:51] *ME*: Well im sorry [09/06 10:52] *ME*: I wish u stayed with me.. n u easily can n also be happy [09/06 10:52] *ME*: But u dnt wanna do that [09/06 10:53] *Her*: Just Leave me alone [09/06 10:53] *ME*: Yh [09/06 10:56] *ME*: Ill b fine dnt wry [09/06 10:56] *ME*: U can go be happy [09/06 10:56] *ME*: U deserve it [09/06 10:56] *ME*: Thanks [09/06 11:01] *ME*: But ur more likely not to n u no it [09/06 11:01] *ME*: I think theres 20% u going [09/06 11:01] *ME*: Iln 80% chance u staying [09/06 11:01] *ME*: N I jus hope u dnt build that resentment [09/06 11:04] *ME*: The thing is ur probably r gna stay but I jus wish u let me make it up [09/06 11:04] *ME*: Yh ur gna b distant [09/06 11:04] *ME*: But all I can do is make sure u dnt crack again and as we get older I have 2 break that wall down [09/06 11:05] *ME*: And as much as u say ur gna go u no deep down ur not [09/06 11:10] *Her*: U just dnt no me saof [09/06 11:13] *ME*: I didnt say u havnt got it in u [09/06 11:13] *ME*: Yh undo [09/06 11:14] *ME*: I said theres a 20% chance u going [09/06 11:14] *ME*: But ur most likely not gna [09/06 11:14] *Her*: U sayin this *ME* is making me wana leave right now? [09/06 11:14] *ME*: Im sorry [09/06 11:15] *ME*: But its true [09/06 11:15] *ME*: But kl [09/06 11:15] *ME*: Im gna go on that n im gna try and make u happy as much as I can [09/06 11:15] *ME*: Its the least I can do [09/06 11:15] *ME*: I jus wna make u happy n b someone u can be proud of bbe [09/06 11:17] *ME*: Ill do my best bbe [09/06 11:17] *ME*: I dnt wna make u feel like going [09/06 11:17] *ME*: I wna make u feel like staying [09/06 11:19] *ME*: But I cant n wont force u to stay [09/06 11:19] *ME*: If u wna go u can go [09/06 11:20] *ME*: All im saying is I dont think youll go yh u got it in u.. but I honestly dont think ud do that to us [09/06 11:21] *ME*: N I think u no inside urself ur not gna go.. but theres a part of u that wants 2 [09/06 11:22] *ME*: Theres also a part of u that actually wants to stay like 10% [09/06 11:22] *ME*: I dont under estimate u though [09/06 11:22] *ME*: Not at all [09/06 11:22] *Her*: I dnt want to stay [09/06 11:22] *ME*: I no u dont [09/06 11:22] *Her*: And u really shoudnt think im weak [09/06 11:23] *ME*: U aint weak [09/06 11:23] *Her*: I dnt care abt anyone nemore [09/06 11:23] *Her*: Or anyones feelings [09/06 11:23] *Her*: Y telljn me wht u fink aint helping [09/06 11:23] *ME*: Im sorry [09/06 11:23] *Her*: Coz u got it all wrng u fink u no me but usnt [09/06 11:23] *Her*: Dnt sit ther and tell me what ima do [09/06 11:23] *ME*: So would u mind tellin me [09/06 11:23] *ME*: I didnt tell u what ud do [09/06 11:23] *Her*: Wotvee man [09/06 11:23] *Her*: Go and predict sumone else [09/06 11:24] *Her*: I aitn up for this bullshyt [09/06 11:24] *ME*: I aint predicting no one [09/06 11:24] *ME*: Its what I think but I can be wrong n thats fine [09/06 11:30] *ME*: End of the day if we do stick I just hope you would not be distant and a zombie as you said [09/06 11:32] *Her*: I most likely will i dnt ever intend in opening up or letting my guards down [09/06 11:32] *Her*: Ever! [09/06 11:32] *ME*: Pls bbe [09/06 11:33] *Her*: U cant have everythin urway [09/06 11:33] *Her*: N u cant have every part of me ieva [09/06 11:33] *ME*: Ok but if it happens naturally then u cant stop it [09/06 11:33] *ME*: Right? [09/06 11:33] *ME*: What part of u cant I have? [09/06 11:33] *ME*: If I cant have it I hope no one else can either that would b fair [09/06 11:34] *ME*: Just please be open n honest atleast bbe [09/06 11:35] *ME*: Thats all I ask [09/06 11:35] *ME*: I cant force u 2 b loving or woteva [09/06 11:35] *ME*: Thats done through my actions I guess [09/06 11:40] *ME*: Ill keep u happy I promise u
We did have a chat when she got home and I told her she can go if she wants and all the things I said such as theres more chances of staying I was jusy saying it.. but really and truelly I think we are going to end.. she said I just wish you couldve given me space for about 3 weeks where I could think about everything so I know im not making a mistake.
I told her well if you want a divorce then I would never come back, but I will wish you all the best and truelly hope you remain happy. She said that when she says theres more chances of it ending she doesnt mean it because she says it out of anger. She says she has no feelings left and her minds confused. She said maybe we should wait before we get the car because then I cant exactly leave can I.. sounds like I should get the car right?
Not sure what you hoped to achieve with that really long text conversation. The majority of it which was unintelligible.
You said you read the books. The first thing they say is NO relationship talks, so you went and backslid on that in a MAJOR way. Also, you continued to want to control her actions. You kept telling her to tell you the truth and demanding answers while also telling her you "understand". From that interaction, it shows you don't.
She constantly asked you for space and time to think things out. But you wouldn't let it go. I mean, look how many times you responded compared to her.
That's why she's frustrated with you. You don't seem to listen.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Not sure what you hoped to achieve with that really long text conversation. The majority of it which was unintelligible.
You said you read the books. The first thing they say is NO relationship talks, so you went and backslid on that in a MAJOR way. Also, you continued to want to control her actions. You kept telling her to tell you the truth and demanding answers while also telling her you "understand". From that interaction, it shows you don't.
She constantly asked you for space and time to think things out. But you wouldn't let it go. I mean, look how many times you responded compared to her.
That's why she's frustrated with you. You don't seem to listen.
Sometimes its so hard not to do R talks, to be honest I managed to read the book a bit more yesterday and got to the part about change what doesnt work part.
I think this is it I can no longer do R talks no matter what.. I need to be strong and I need to sit down and shut the f up and just listen.
I remember the first time I saw shisha. I was on a university campus and being an RA, I freaked out thinking they were up to no good. Gotta love cultural education
I feel that you need to find some other things to do for yourself. "Used to" is different from the now and your current GAL activities all exist within your home. Take us back to when you first started dating your wife. What was your life like? How much were you working? What did you do outside of work? What activities did you do with your wife while you were courting? Did you have any hobbies or interests then? Did you have an active social life (not going out getting drunk but getting together with friends, whatever the activity)?
Well at first we used to go to starbucks and restaurants and also we would go to shopping malls and parks.. then when she got her own place I would go over every weekend and she would cook me up a meal and I would stay over the weekend every weekend.
there were other things but I cant seem to remember.
She was so crazy about me and I just dont know how things changed so bad.
Wow. I'm gonna be honest. THAT was a disaster. As MrBond said, you're not listening. To your wife and to us. Please, please, PLEASE try to understand that everyone here has been in your shoes and we are trying to HELP you. If you want to get somewhere with your situation, and more importantly, your life overall, you really need to start listening, ESPECIALLY to MrBond and 25mlc.
Do yourself a favour and read the 37 rules RIGHT NOW. Read them, re-read them and START FOLLOWING THEM. NOW! Also, read the bloody books pronto!
It's hard. It's very hard. We KNOW how you feel and we're all sorry that you feel this way. You CAN do this. You need to show some self-control though, not for us, not for your wife, but for YOU.
As for your response to my questions, what did you do for yourself before and at the time of meeting your future wife? You had your own life, right? You didn't just go to work, right? What did you do outside of work while you weren't with your wife? What were you interested in?
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Wow. I'm gonna be honest. THAT was a disaster. As MrBond said, you're not listening. To your wife and to us. Please, please, PLEASE try to understand that everyone here has been in your shoes and we are trying to HELP you. If you want to get somewhere with your situation, and more importantly, your life overall, you really need to start listening, ESPECIALLY to MrBond and 25mlc.
Do yourself a favour and read the 37 rules RIGHT NOW. Read them, re-read them and START FOLLOWING THEM. NOW! Also, read the bloody books pronto!
It's hard. It's very hard. We KNOW how you feel and we're all sorry that you feel this way. You CAN do this. You need to show some self-control though, not for us, not for your wife, but for YOU.
As for your response to my questions, what did you do for yourself before and at the time of meeting your future wife? You had your own life, right? You didn't just go to work, right? What did you do outside of work while you weren't with your wife? What were you interested in?
I used to go clubbing a lot and used to mess around with girls, when I met my wife everything changed I didnt want that life no more she was such a good girl it forced me to change.
