It's probable that he's still leaning towards feeling "I'm sad about this, but what's done is done and there's no chance of reconciliation". But I know that is mind-reading big time. Because on the other hand, he didn't say anything completely final, and he was visibly upset. I said that I believed strongly that, underneath everything, the problem was that we didn't have the tools, or support, or knowledge to make things work. I told him I had never learned how to be a good partner-- I had no good role models, and no tools, and I also wasn't healthy enough to be able to find or use them. I told him that I've been doing a lot of looking inward, learning about myself and what makes relationships work, and that now I think I DO have some practical tools, and that I'm much less likely to make the same mistakes again in my next R, whether that is with him or with someone else.
I confidently ended the conversation, stayed cool and composed. He's gotta be thinking at least a little bit.
Then let him think. Don't bring it up. Continue to let him see your changes through actions instead of telling him with words.
