hope456 - he filed, what now?

[25yearsmlc]

I really hate the saying "kids are resilient!"

Oops, I just saw this^^ and I DO hate it too....but its like when our neighbor died suddenly, a mother of 4. On one hand, her kids looked punched in the stomach for 2 years...(She was a great mother/wife and I don't use those terms loosely. She was the centerpiece of the family for sure).

But her kids ALSO seemed to know what helped THEM the most. They'd play a lot, and they seemed to like remembering their mom, the youngest, then 7, clung to her dad a lot...other times they would ask "Can we play a game now, that is 'harder'?" (Which we interpreted as them saying they wanted to be preoccupied.) I just thought it was so healthy.



You're daughter will be ok because she has a great mom that will help her get through it. My H made a comment about this being better for the kids to not see us fight all the time.(kind of hard for them to see us fight when he has been working overseas for 6 years!)

Maybe you can start punching him hard, in the face. Then say "Now they really are better off"

Um, I am kidding...mostly

Whatever makes you feel better about it. I've always liked the saying "you shouldn't stay together for the kids, you should make it work for the kids!"

"I need to find what makes ME feel happy...AND the kids are resilient"< really is backwards, isn't it?
--- My kids are older, not sure if that makes it easier or harder. They understand more, but on the other hand they understand more!

LOST< I think having less confusion is better, fwiw. Also I posted on this thread what my child psych told me to tell them, at the time. But I did not know "for sure" if we'd get D'd.

I know DID tell my sisters at the time, that my marriage had "10% of succeeding..." and we reconciled. So, who knows?

But I really liked the advice he gave and found it useful..it's somewhere here on the thread. See if it helps.

You're doing great, I hope if/when the time comes for us to tell our kids I handle it as well as you are.

Amen...

Hope (& Lost) IF/WHEN your child(ren) hear the Div news from you & THEN ask for an activity or make a request of you,

I'd implore everyone do what Hope did, which is to comply!!
(if it's at all reasonable).

I noticed my children, even our son, asked for more back and foot rubs than ever before.
I believe kids tend to follow your lead/mood. Keep that in mind.

((( )))